Pathway to Japanese Literature

1

One sweltering night, Dr. Kin, the King of Invention—clad in a long-sleeved white lab coat and wearing a large helmet—was peering into a display window.

The hustle and bustle of Nanjing Road was now at its peak.

Dr. Kin’s gaze was fixed on the array of Western liquor bottles displayed on the small shelf in the display window.
Or, to be precise, it would be more accurate to say his gaze was fixed on the numbers written on the price tags dangling from those Western liquor bottles.

“Ahaha...”

Dr. Kin suddenly let out a sound.
This was by no means Dr. Kin laughing.
In truth, he had heaved a great sigh—with an “ahaha” resonance…
For when a sigh reaches its utmost extremity through overwhelming emotion, it may indeed produce a sound akin to laughter.
Should you doubt this, readers might do well to test it themselves.

“Ahaha! Five hundred yuan for that wretched whiskey—’tis lunacy.
“True, we had the Chongqing market prices of yore—but this exceeds even those rapacious rates.
“At the same five hundred yuan, this peppermint liqueur would serve better.
“Were I to dash this into ice and clink away at it, this murderous heat would scatter like poison gas before a storm—yet five hundred yuan? ’Tis beyond my present means.”

Dr. Kin, who had lately been struggling with alcohol shortages and, it seemed, financial difficulties as well, thus apparently reached the point of uttering such an extreme sigh.

It was at that very moment.
A giant spider with coastal crab-like plumpness smoothly descended along a long thread aimed at Dr. Kin’s head.
Having nearly collided with Dr. Kin’s helmet, it just managed to stop its descent.
What a formidable giant spider.
Were such a creature to sink its fangs into his neck and suck away at his blood with greedy slurps, even someone as stubborn as Dr. Kin wouldn’t last long—or so it seemed.

“Ah, Dr. Kin. How I’ve missed you.”

Suddenly, the giant spider spoke to Dr. Kin.
This was no joke…

“Yeah.”

Whether the voice had reached Dr. Kin’s ears or not, he gave an absentminded reply.
Having merely given an absentminded reply, he was still focusing his full attention on the blue Peppermint’s price tag in the display window.

“Dr. Kin, you remain ever vigorous—I congratulate you.”
“It’s been about five or six years since I last bid farewell to you, Dr. Kin.”

The monstrous giant spider was fondly reminiscing about Dr. Kin.
When viewed from the side, one began to suspect that Dr. Kin, too, might be a spider monster.
Indeed, Dr. Kin’s face featured in *Shin Seinen* magazine had a visage reminiscent of a spider spirit.

But to return to our story—Dr. Kin had finally diverted about twenty percent of his attention to the spider’s voice.

“Oh, so it’s you, Sho Kaiseki.
“You were still alive?”

Sho Kaiseki was the name of that renowned anti-Japanese capital-relocating general.
Had Sho Kaiseki—after wearing his human disguise until he exhausted all capitals to move—finally transformed into a giant spider?
Or had he perished in Australia, flattened like a squid beneath a tank, his lingering soul still clinging to this Earth to become a giant spider?

“Oh, Dr. Kin.
“Sho doesn’t die so easily.”
“But regardless—solely because I wished to meet you, Doctor—I came alone without bringing any subordinates, slipped through a strict surveillance net, and finally made it here.”
“And now that I’ve finally met you, Doctor, there could be no greater joy.”
“Hahaha...”

“Hahaha…” was not Sho’s laughter.
It was a sob of overwhelming emotion.
When a cry reaches its extreme, it resembles laughter—ah, but we’ve had enough of that explanation already.
Indeed, we did write a bit about this before, didn’t we?

“Don’t cry now, Sho.
“You’ve been a crybaby since your piss-boy days.”
“In the east there’s Kusunoki’s Crying Man, and in the west there’s Sho Kaiseki—both made names for themselves through their signature tactic of tears.”
“So, if you’ve come all this way to see me, I suppose it’s for yet another outrageous request, eh?”

Dr. Kin once again bent forward, moving his mouth as he peered into the display window.
Dr. Kin appeared to have no inkling that he was conversing with the giant spider that had crept up above his head.

“Ah, exactly so—you’ve hit the bullseye.”
“I—no, rather, this humble one has resolved to earnestly request your guidance, Dr. Kin, to master poison gas—and for this purpose, I have come all this way from a remote island in the southern seas.”

“Research on poison gas, eh? Such a difficult and costly endeavor isn’t your style.”

“No, Doctor—pray do not say that. I earnestly beseech you.”
“Though I now lie low on a remote island, I concluded that to restore the sun of yesteryears, there is no prospect unless I invent a potent poison gas and act through its power—which compels me to entreat you.”
“Take pity on this Sho… In return, I shall reward you most handsomely—with whatever you prefer, be it whiskey or peppermint liqueur…”

“I see. That’s true enough.”
“A man’s word doesn’t waver—though with you as my opponent, there’s no helping it…”

As he said this, Dr. Kin pulled his face away from the display window and straightened his back—which caused the giant spider that had been dangling there all along to sway once and smack right into his face.
“Oh no! Is Dr. Kin’s life in peril?!”
“Life or death?”

2

……Though I tried to weave together menacing phrases with overzealous flair—if only Dr. Kin would immediately swat away the giant spider that had smacked his face and let out a yelp or such, it might have lent this author’s endeavor some dramatic payoff—but the good doctor betrayed neither surprise nor any reaction whatsoever.
It proved a thoroughly deflating turn of events.

Far from being startled, Dr. Kin immediately reached out and grabbed the giant spider by its midsection.

Then came a rattling noise resembling radio static.

Dr. Kin brought the captured giant spider to his mouth and deepened his voice further,

“Hey Sho Kaiseki, I’m coming up to the rooftop where you are right now, so wait there a bit.”
“But you—it seems you’ve finally learned your lesson this time, dangling a microphone and loudspeaker disguised as a spider from the rooftop to address me. Not bad—you’ve grown quite mechanized, haven’t you? Hahaha...”

“Well, it’s just that…”

“But lowering this ungainly spider from the rooftop into this crowded thoroughfare—you remain hopelessly lacking in refinement.”
“Next time, exercise better ingenuity.”

Sho, who had mistaken this for praise, was instantly flattened.

Now, this was the rooftop.
It was the rooftop of the building housing the aforementioned Western liquor store.

Clumsily emerging from the emergency ladder was Dr. Kin.
At the entrance to the emergency ladder stood two Indian policemen in white turbans, black sunglasses, and thick mustaches, saluting respectfully!
The tall, gaunt one was Sho Kaiseki, while the short, stocky one was Kunsei—the promising Chief Gas Engineer whom Sho had specially selected and brought along.
The two of them paid their respects to Dr. Kin with the utmost formal salute, as though welcoming a commander boarding from the gangway.

Far from returning the salute with due decorum, Dr. Kin suddenly thumped Sho’s gaunt shoulder,

“Hey, that promise about the whiskey and peppermint liqueur—is that promise solid?”
“A single bottle of either costs five hundred yuan.”
“Do you really have that much money?”

he asked bluntly.

“Oh, that matter is already settled.”
“As you well know, we have long maintained deep ties with Britain. Though our military might has withered, whether it be gold, diamonds, or whiskey—such things we possess in ample stock.”

“Is that... so?”

“Of course it’s true.”
“Though nations perish, Western liquor endures.”
“I did secure stockpiles with all haste... But Doctor—regarding the poison gas...”

“Hmph—poison gas? Mere child’s play.”
“Whiskey proves less tractable.”

“Nay Doctor—whiskey flows abundant as monsoon rains.”
“Poison gas research defies such ease.”

“Very well—let us barter.”
“What manner of poison gas serves your need?”
“Phosgene? Picric acid? Diphenylchloroarsine? Mustard gas? Carbon monoxide—which would you have?”

Below was a sea of artificial lights, above a starry moonlit night, and the rooftop was pitch-dark.
Standing on the pitch-dark rooftop, Dr. Kin spread his arms wide.

“I have no need for any of such things.”

Sho shook his head—larger than average—from side to side.

“Hoh—so this isn’t to your liking?”

“Dr. Kin—no, what I want isn’t such conventional poison gases. Those can be blocked by passing them through adsorbent activated carbon and neutralizing soda lime—they’re easily avoided with rubber suits, gloves, and boots too! Poison gases with known countermeasures? Utterly ineffective nowadays no matter where you deploy them! I need something more potent—something novel.”

He spoke as if searching for a new bedbug extermination agent.

Dr. Kin nodded without showing any particular concern,

“I’ve got every kind of thing here.”
“There’s poison gas that’ll barrel straight through those gas masks you mentioned—renders current masks useless. How’s this?”

“Splendid indeed.”
“But that’s ○○○, ○○○○○, isn’t it?”

“Hoh, you know about that? This type of gas is possessed only by Germany and ○○—conventional gas masks are utterly powerless against it.”

“However, Doctor, that won’t do either. While other nations might lack it, Germany itself possesses proper defenses against that super poison gas. Anything with existing countermeasures is completely useless. I want a poison gas that no one is prepared to defend against. Dr. Kin, I must implore your assistance.”

Sho began to show enthusiasm on his face.

“Hoh-hoh! You’re quite enthusiastic—and I do have such a thing.
However, teaching this will come at a high price—is that all right with you?
First, if it’s whiskey, I can’t transact unless it’s in case lots by the dozen...”

“I’ll provide case lots by the dozen or whatever it takes!”

“Well now, that’s rather grandiose for the likes of you, isn’t it?”

“Doctor, I stand at the critical juncture of whether my revenge will come to fruition.
How could I not be deadly serious?”

“I see.”
“Very well, then.”
“Shall I give it a little demonstration right here?”

“Ah wait, Doctor!”
“That’s dangerous!”
“If it’s released here, I’ll die!”
“I’ll have to pass on that one.”

“What’s all this panicking about?”
“Even if I said ‘release’, I never mentioned actual poison gas.”
“I meant I was going to talk about such poison gas.”

“Ah! So that was it!”
“Whew... What a relief.”
“But you know how you get carried away—once enthused, you’ll muddle friend and foe alike while unleashing science’s cruel power.”
“I’ve endured quite enough bitter lessons from your methods already.”

“Sho, science is a cruel thing.”
“That’s what I believe.”
“Therefore, humankind must needs conquer science as soon as possible.”
“In Germany—”

“Doctor, enough about Germany.”
“Therefore, my request stands thus: I shall entrust to you for one week Kunsei—my trusted subordinate here present, newly appointed Poison Gas Invention Officer—that during this period you might instill in this man every particular regarding new poison gas research: policies, plans, equipment, expenses—all conceivable matters.”
“Upon this man’s return, I mean to transform into a demon wholly devoted to inventing world-annihilating poison gas, committing all my strength and entire fortune to labor alongside the Invention Officer.”

Sho opened his mouth so wide it seemed he might swallow the star-filled sky and, with full theatricality, proclaimed his outlandish momentous resolution.

“Enough already! Less grandstanding, more whiskey. And peppermint liqueur.”

Dr. Kin bellowed in a voice as loud as Sho’s, struck a pose like an enraged mantis, and thrust his fist skyward.

3

In one room of Dr. Kin’s aforementioned underground laboratory, Dr. Kin in a white lab coat and Invention Officer Kunsei faced each other.

The two of them each held a glass in their hands.

On the lab bench, Western liquor bottles of various shapes were crammed together in the narrow space.

Dr. Kin brought the glass to his lips, took a gulp of the yellow liquid, then spent a while smacking his lips and tongue together.

“……Hmm, there’s something strange about this.”
“Kunsei, you try drinking it.”

“Yes.”

Kunsei brought the cup to his lips.

“Yes, I’ve drunk it.”
“It’s truly exquisite liquor!”

“Is that so.”
“I don’t perceive it that strongly myself...”

“Doctor, that’s due to your physical condition.”
“Something must be amiss with your constitution.”
“Likely excess blood sugar or a fever.”
“To me, it’s perfectly splendid.”
“As expected, only British whiskey achieves this caliber.”
“This is pure unblended stock from the British Empire’s zenith.”
“Beyond any doubt.”

“You’re being rather persistent.”

“No—I’ve gotten drunk.”
“This too is due to the liquor’s richness.”
“Now then, Professor, let’s leave the liquor experiments at this point and, as per our agreement, I would like you to promptly begin guiding me in the poison gas research I’ve long requested…”

“Hmph. The poison gas research matter, eh?”

Dr. Kin, somewhat displeased, clattered his cup down onto the bench.

“Now then, I shall duly fulfill the contract with Sho,” said Dr. Kin, clattering his cup onto the bench with evident displeasure. “I shall lecture on nerve gas.”

“Ah, if it’s that nerve gas you’re referring to,” Kunsei interjected deferentially, “I’ve heard the German military already used it at Fort Eben-Emael.” His voice carried a hint of polite skepticism as he added, “That’s rather outdated poison gas now…”

Dr. Kin’s eyes narrowed behind his spectacles. “The so-called nerve gas used by the Germans was merely a temporary paralytic agent.” His fingers tapped impatiently against the whiskey bottle as he lectured. “The Belgian soldiers who inhaled it became entranced—everything around them dissolved into oblivion.”

A mirthless smile twisted his lips as he continued, “Naturally, they forgot to fire their machine guns, left dazed and useless.” The inventor leaned forward, his shadow looming across the cluttered workbench. “By the time they regained awareness, German troops stood at their throats.”

He paused dramatically before driving home his point: “Temporary gas lacks potency.” With a flourish of his lab coat sleeve, he revealed his magnum opus— “What I’ve conceived is a persistent nerve gas.”

The words hung in the alcohol-scented air as he detailed his creation: “A single whiff ensures paralysis lasting at least one year.” His voice dropped to a conspiratorial whisper. “For some… three years. Five.”

Leaning back triumphantly, he concluded, “Such patients become unfit for any responsible duty.” The fluorescent lights glinted off his glasses as he delivered the coup de grâce: “Well? Isn’t it magnificent?”

Dr. Kin finally regained his good humor.

“From a physiological standpoint, what effect does it produce?”

“In other words, it electrolyzes brain cells and sustains their distortion.”

“Hah... hah... Electrolyzing brain cells to sustain distortion... That’s horrifying.”
“But if you say it causes electrolysis, wouldn’t that make it a type of mysterious rays?”
“It can’t be called poison gas, can it?”

Chief Engineer Kunsei, precisely because he enjoyed Sho’s deep trust, sharply confronted the doctor.

“If it were something like mysterious rays, the crackling and sparking would alert the enemy—that makes it useless.”
“What’s needed is a more gradual paralytic agent.”
“The nerve gas I’ve devised has properties that leave victims completely unaware.”
“No odor, colorless and transparent, naturally tasteless, non-irritating.”
“Since it causes an extremely slow-acting paralysis, we’ve eliminated any initial stimulus.”
“Moreover, victims never realize they’ve been gassed no matter how much time passes.”
“They maintain nearly normal mental states while part of their brain gradually becomes fully paralyzed.”
“Imagine someone smiling amiably during conversation while calmly plunging a knife into their companion’s heart—no agitation, no hesitation.”
“Transforming people into perfectly ordinary-seeming lunatics—that’s what I call persistent nerve gas.”
“Well?”
“Why not try developing something along those lines yourself?”

“Th-that’s incredible!”

Chief Engineer Kunsei set down his cup and clung to Dr. Kin.

“Quit it—you’re disgusting.”

Dr. Kin pushed Kunsei away,

“Well then, now that I’ve given you that much of a hint, you can return to Sho and promptly begin your invention research.”
“Now now, hurry back to Sho’s camp.”

“Yes.”
“Then I shall take my leave.”
“Thank you ever so much for your enduring consideration.”

“Oh, it’s nothing—merely a ten-minute lecture is all.”
“But that whiskey and 140 cases of peppermint—as tuition fees, they’re a laughably cheap bargain.”

“Even after we’ve offered such an astronomical quantity of Western liquor, does the Professor still claim disadvantage?”

“That may be so.
“It is I who am at a great disadvantage.
“When you return, make sure to tell Sho that I said so.
“However, out of respect for the sacred oath of our Barter System, tell that Sho we’ve made thorough arrangements on our end as well.
“Well, you’d best be off now.”

“Yes, yes, understood.”

Though Kunsei still harbored unresolved doubts about certain points, he judged this moment to be the strategic tide for withdrawal and accordingly dealt with Dr. Kin in perfunctory courtesy.
Having changed clothes, he presented himself before the doctor, performed three deep bows and nine reverential prostrations with ceremonial exactitude, pivoted sharply on his heel, and had nearly exited the room when Dr. Kin unexpectedly called him back from behind.

“Ah, you’ll exit this way.”
“Go straight down this narrow corridor, and when you reach the end, there’ll be an automatic elevator.”
“Take it to the first floor.”
“Then you’ll emerge at a location supremely convenient for transportation.”

Dr. Kin pressed the button on the wall, opened the secret door that had been installed there, and pointed.

“Ah, thank you very much.
I had no idea there was a passageway here.”

“This passage is reserved exclusively for special guests.
Since no one’s used it for some time, you might get cobwebs on your face.
While brushing them away with your hand, proceed slowly down the passage.”

“Oh, no—thank you for your kindness.”

“You’re welcome.”
“Yes, goodbye.”

Behind Chief Engineer Kunsei, who had entered the secret door, came the thud of it closing.
At the same moment, he thought he heard Dr. Kin sobbing tearfully beyond the door…

4

On a southern isolated island, Chairman Sho was attending to official duties, still as naked as ever.
The usual thick false mustache was no longer visible.

At that moment, Kunsei returned.

“Oh, you’ve returned.”
“And did you extract some splendid secrets from Dr. Kin?”

“Yes, the persistent nerve gas…”

“Tsk!”
“Your voice is so high!”

Sho was beside himself with joy, dancing with unrestrained delight.
He all but seized Kunsei by the hand and led him to the old castle standing on the sandy ground.

“Now, here is the Poison Gas Invention Institute.”
“The sign too—I took the trouble to personally inscribe it with my own brush.”

Indeed, on the castle gate that was crumbling here and there hung a signboard for the Poison Gas Invention Institute.

“I had fully prepared the invention facility, or so I believed.”
“I shall personally provide the tour.”

While receiving the guards’ salutes, the two entered the castle grounds.

“To evade detection by enemy air forces, we kept the exterior as dilapidated as possible.”
“However, we had no choice but to build that chimney.”

A thick chimney jutted out abruptly from atop the old castle.

“What is that? That chimney there?”

“It’s so that the prototype poison gas can fly away high into the sky.”

“Poison gas is inherently meant to be heavier than air, I’ll have you know.”
“There’s no such thing as light poison gas that would launch from a chimney.”

“No—I’ve also prepared an escape route for that heavy poison gas.”
“The thick iron pipe you see over there descends nearly to sea level.”
“The heavy poison gas gets vented in that direction.”
“The leeward side is the Bay of Bengal.”
“The sea turtles and Indian crocodiles might start griping that their health’s taken a turn lately…”

Sho’s level of commitment to the Poison Gas Invention Institute was extraordinary.
Kunsei was brimming with confidence that he could fully repay his trust.

Kunsei assumed the position of Director of the Invention Institute, and 135 invention officers began working under him.
First, it took three months to build the equipment.
Then Kunsei’s lectures continued for three months.

Kunsei’s lectures were truly splendid.
From time to time, Sho Kaiseki would come to audit the lectures, and each time, he would pinch the tip of his chin, overcome with reverent delight.

“Heh heh heh… I can’t help feeling a bit sorry that 140 cases of Western liquor could produce such splendid effects.”

Kunsei’s guidance was dazzling.

The engines rotated, the belts trembled, the shafts lapped up oil, the stirrers churned, the heating furnaces blazed crimson, steam spouted white—a tremendous commotion that continued day after day.

As this went on, Sho could no longer remain composed and began visiting there day after day.

“Hey Kunsei.”
“Still can’t produce that nerve gas?”
“If it’s done, show it to me quickly.”

“Chairman Sho!”
“This time we’ll produce something magnificent!”
“The gas density is 1.60004.”
“An ideal density.”
“You must be astonished!”

“1.60004?”
“I don’t quite grasp it.”

“In terms of precision, it surpasses Dr. Kin’s product. Such precise poison gas…”

“Effectiveness matters more than precision!”

“No—without this level of precision, we cannot defeat those enemy soldiers with their tenacious endurance.” Ah, inspiration struck again. Of course—he should add fragrance to this poison gas. A scent like grilled eel. Far better than odorless gas. The enemy would sniff eagerly and inhale more deeply. What a magnificent concept! Alongside eel, he could add yakitori aromas, tempura fragrances, rice curry scents—every smell enemy soldiers loved. “Chairman Sho, isn’t this a magnificent invention?”

“I see—a poison gas with active inhalability, isn’t it?”

Sho grinned slyly and firmly grasped Director Kunsei’s hand.

The newly manufactured poison gas was completed in the planned quantity that summer.

Sho took Kunsei along and, armed with that poison gas, suddenly appeared on the front lines.

And from morning onward, they set a schedule: at 7 AM, nerve gas with the scent of eel; at 9 AM, nerve gas with the scent of honey peach; at 11 AM, nerve gas with the scent of rice curry—firing one gas shell after another toward enemy lines in a meticulously planned sequence.

What was the outcome?

Sho Kaiseki staged a spectacle of barely escaping with his life, cutting through the raging enemy’s heavy encirclement and fleeing into the Burma Route.

The newly manufactured poison gas created by Kunsei was utterly ineffective.
In fact, with its appetizing aroma, it produced the opposite effect of invigorating the enemy soldiers instead.
Kunsei was taken prisoner on that battlefield and was eventually placed in a hospital.

The one who laughed dryly upon hearing this outcome was none other than Dr. Kin.

He spread out Chinese-style stationery and wrote a letter addressed to Sho Kaiseki.

“Respectfully Submitted.
How about it—the effect of the persistent nerve gas?
When Kunsei left my place, he inhaled the tasteless, odorless, colorless, non-reactive persistent nerve gas in the specially constructed passageway and returned.
Therefore, from around the time he returned to your camp, a certain part of his brain cells should have gradually begun to deteriorate.
How could anyone trust the poison gas he invented and manufactured?
Hey Sho, let this be a lesson—be more careful from now on.”

Ah, so that was it.
The crucial Director of the Poison Gas Invention Institute, Kunsei, when leaving Dr. Kin’s place, was made to walk through a gas passageway and was completely turned into a gas patient—a fact that neither he himself nor Sho noticed.

Upon receiving this letter, Sho, greatly chagrined, wrote a letter of protest to Dr. Kin while teardrops like beans pattered onto his desk.
The gist of it was:

“Dr. Kin,
While fully cognizant of our barter system agreement, to have sent back Kunsei in such an altered state is profoundly one-sided conduct.
I maintain an unshakable resolve.
Submit to me a thorough written explanation!”

Then, Dr. Kin promptly replied and said,

“Hey Sho.
Don’t you know the proverb ‘the rust grows from one’s own blade’?
The reason I altered Kunsei and sent him back is because you sent me counterfeit liquor with adulterated quality that didn’t match its surface label.
In short, it’s alteration repaid with alteration.
I believe I have faithfully upheld the terms of our barter system.
A qualitative barter system, you see.
All that counterfeit whiskey has been dumped into the Huangpu River.
From now on, I’m severing all ties with you.”

And with that, Dr. Kin emphatically dotted the letter’s margins with bold black punctuation.