Pathway to Japanese Literature

The Spider, the Slug, and the Raccoon Dog

The Spider, the silver slug, and the raccoon dog who had never washed his face were all splendid athletes.

But I do not know exactly what kind of athletes they were.

The Mountain Cat stated, but it was said that the three had truly engaged in earnest competition.

What exactly were they competing in? I have neither seen the three of them running side by side nor heard of them being ranked first, second, or third in any school examination.

What exactly were they competing in? The Spider had long red limbs and wore an emblem on his chest inscribed with "Nanpe" in spider script, while the Slug always wore silver rubber boots.
Moreover, the Raccoon Dog, though slightly worn out, wore a sports cap.

But in any case, all three died.

The Spider died in May of Spider Year 3800, the silver slug died the following year, and the raccoon dog died the year after that.

Let us examine the three biographies a bit more closely.

I. The Red Long-Armed Spider

What is known of the spider’s biography spans only its final year.

The spider was blown in by a sudden gust of wind one night and caught on an oak tree at the forest entrance.
Enduring his gnawing hunger, the spider immediately began spinning his web by the light of the moon.

He was so famished that there was almost no silk left in his belly.
However, the spider

Chanting “Heave-ho! Heave-ho!”, he desperately pulled out silk and spun a web no larger than a two-sen copper coin.

Around dawn, a mosquito came droning from afar and collided with the web.
However, the web he had spun in such famished desperation lacked any stickiness in its threads, so the mosquito immediately tried to sever them and fly away.

The Spider, like a madman, burst from the shadow of the leaves and sank his fangs into the mosquito.

The mosquito pleaded in a pitiful voice, “I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” but the Spider devoured him without a word—head, wings, legs, everything.

Then, letting out a relieved breath, he gazed up at the sky for a moment, rubbed his belly, and spun a bit more silk.

And then the web grew a full size larger.

The Spider then returned to the shade of the leaves, his six eyes glinting fiercely as he fixed his gaze on the web.

“Might this be where I am?” said a blind mayfly as he tapped his cane and approached.

“This here’s an inn,” said the Spider, blinking each of his six eyes rapidly.

The mayfly sat down on the web with a sigh of relief.
The Spider ran out.
And then

“Now then, please have some tea,” he said as he sank his fangs into the mayfly’s midsection with a savage bite.

The mayfly raised into the air the hand it had extended to take the tea, flailing and struggling,

“Alas my daughter，your father—”
“If she hears that I perished on my journey，”
and began to sing in a pitiful voice．

“Hey! Shut up．
Stop squirming，” said the Spider．
The mayfly clasped its hands

“Have mercy．
Please，I beg you to wait just a little while longer for my final words，” it pleaded．

The spider also felt a bit of pity．

“Alright，hurry up and do it，” he said，grabbing the mayfly’s leg and waiting．
The mayfly truly began singing again from the beginning in a pitifully thin voice．

“Alas my daughter, your father—

“If she hears that I perished on my journey,

On those small hands, white arm guards,

O beloved pilgrimage’s rain and wind.

O divine protection and humble gratitude,

Though waves rise high by the threshold,

The cruel spider’s web chamber,

Touch it not!
Approach it not!”

“Impudent fool,” said the Spider, and in a single breath devoured the mayfly.
And then he gazed up at the sky for a while, rubbed his belly, and blinked his eyes a few times.

“Don’t get any impudent ideas,” he sang mockingly while spinning more thread.

The web grew three sizes larger and was now a splendid spider’s nest.
The spider, now completely at ease, hid himself once more in the shadow of the leaves.
At that moment, he heard a beautiful voice singing from below.

“O red long-armed Spider,

Near heaven’s realm you crawl and spin,

Smoothly spinning a glistening thread,

Glistening, glistening, you weave your web.”

When he looked, she was a beautiful female spider.

“Come here,” said the long-armed Spider as he smoothly lowered a single thread for her.

The female spider immediately grabbed onto it and climbed up. And then the two became husband and wife. Every day, plenty of food got caught in the web, so the female spider ate abundantly and turned it all into children. And so, many children were born. However, those children were so small they were practically transparent.

The children slid on the web, wrestled sumo-style, swung on swings—it was truly lively. To top it off, one day a dragonfly arrived and conveyed everyone’s resolution to appoint Spider as consultant to the Insect Council.

One day, as the husband and wife spiders were hiding in the shade of the leaves drinking tea, a jeering voice began singing from below.

“O red long-armed Spider~,

The sons you’ve sired—two hundred strong,

Eye gunk, crescent-shaped specks, gnat’s tears—

At their largest, mere barnyard millet grains.”

When they looked down, it was a large Silver Slug.

The female spider burned with frustration and cried as though she’d been set ablaze.

However, the Long-armed Spider said.

“Hmph.”
“That bastard’s been green with envy lately.”
“Hey, slug!”
“I’m about to become the Insect Council’s consultant!”
“Heh.”
“Does it burn?”
“Heh.”
“You could swell that gut of yours twice over – still couldn’t pull this off.”
“Heh heh.”

The slug was so frustrated that he fell into a fever for a while,

“Ugh… You damn spider… You humiliated me.”
“Ugh.”
“You damn spider,” he kept saying.

The web was sometimes torn by the wind or destroyed by rogue beetles, but the spider swiftly spun silk to repair it.

Of the two hundred children, a hundred and ninety-eight were carried off by ants, went missing, or succumbed to dysentery and died.

However, since all the children looked so much alike, the parent spiders soon forgot about them.

And now the web was truly splendid.
Insects kept getting caught one after another.

One day, as the spider couple hid in the shade of leaves sipping tea, a traveling mosquito flew toward them, then upon spotting the web, wheeled about in panic and fled back.

Then from below,

A voice roared “Ha ha ha!” before a gravelly baritone began singing:

“O crimson long-armed Spider~,

Since your web’s so wretchedly spun,

Even a mosquito that had journeyed eight thousand two hundred ri,

“With a groan, it about-faced.”

When they looked down, there sat a raccoon dog that had never washed its face.
The Spider ground his teeth with a grating *kiri-kiri-kirit* sound and spat:

“What do you—”
“Damn raccoon dog!”
“I’ll make you bow to me someday!”

From then on, the Spider desperately set up as many as ten webs here and there and kept watch through the night. However, the problem was the rot. The food piled up rapidly and rotted. And then that rot spread to the spider couple and their children. And so the four of them gradually rotted from the tips of their legs until they turned all sticky, until one day they were finally washed away by the rain.

That was in May of Spider Year 3800.

II. Silver Slug

Around the time when the Spider set up a web about the size of a two-sen copper coin on an oak tree at the forest’s edge, a snail came calling at the splendid abode of the Silver Slug.

At that time, the Silver Slug had a reputation for being the kindest in the forest.

The snail

“Mr. Slug. This time I’m completely at my wit’s end—there’s absolutely no food or water left. Couldn’t you spare me just a little of that butterbur dew you’ve been saving?”

Then the Silver Slug said:
“I’ll give it to you! Of course I’ll give it to you! Come now—drink up.”

“Ah, thank you very much.”
“This will save me,” the snail said as it gulped down the butterbur dew.

“Have some more.”
“You and I are practically brothers.”
“Ha ha ha.”
“Come now, come now, have some more,” said the Silver Slug.

“Then I’ll have a little more.”
“Ah, thank you very much,” the snail said as it drank a little more.

“Mr. Snail. When you’re feeling better, shall we have a round of sumo? Ha ha ha. Long time no see,” said the Silver Slug.

“I’m too hungry to have any strength,” said the Snail.

“Then I’ll give you some food.”
“Here, go ahead and eat,” said the Silver Slug as he brought out thistle sprouts and such.

“Thank you very much.”
“Then I’ll help myself,” the Snail said as it ate.

“Come on, let’s have a sumo match.
Ha ha ha,” said the Silver Slug, already standing up.
The Snail also reluctantly,
“I’m rather weak, so please don’t throw me too hard,” he said as he stood up.

“Hup!”
“There!”
“Ha ha ha.”
The Snail was thrown violently.

“Let’s do it again.”
“Ha ha ha.”

“I’m too exhausted to go on.”

“Come on, let’s do it one more time.”
“Ha ha ha.”
“Hup!”
“There!”
“Ha ha ha.”
The Snail was thrown violently.

“Let’s do it again.”
“Ha ha ha.”

“I can’t go on anymore.”

“Come on, let’s do it one more time.”
“Ha ha ha.”
“Hup! There!”
“Ha ha ha.”
The Snail was thrown violently.

“Let’s do it again.”
“Ha ha ha.”

“I can’t go on.”

“Come on, let’s do it one more time.”
“Ha ha ha.”
“Hup!”
“There!”
“Ha ha ha.”
The Snail was thrown violently.

“Let’s go again.”
“Ha ha ha.”

“I’m going to die now.
Goodbye.”

“Come now, let’s try once more.”
“Ha ha ha.”
“Up you get.”
“Stand properly.”
“I’ll help you rise.”
“Hup!”
“There!”
“Heh heh heh.”
The Snail had died.
Thereupon, the Silver Slug gulped down the Snail in one swift motion.

About a month later, the Lizard came limping to the Silver Slug’s splendid house.
And

“Mr. Slug.”
“Good day.”
“Could you give me a little medicine?” he said.
“What’s the matter?” the Silver Slug asked with a laugh.
“I was bitten by a snake,” said the Lizard.
“In that case, it’s no trouble at all.
“I’ll just give that a little lick for you.”
“It’ll heal right away.”
“Ha ha ha,” the Silver Slug said with a laugh.

“Please, I beg of you,” said the Lizard, extending his leg.

“Certainly.
Why, certainly!
You and I are practically brothers, so to speak.
Ha ha ha,” the Silver Slug said with a laugh.

And then the Silver Slug placed his mouth on the Lizard’s wound.

“Thank you... Mr.Slug,” said the Lizard.

“If I don’t lick this thoroughly now，you’ll face dire consequences later! Even if you come begging again，I won’t treat you next time! Ha ha ha!” replied the Silver Slug through muffled laughter，his mouth never stopping its relentless licking of the Lizard’s wound.

“Mr. Slug. It seems like my leg has melted,” said the Lizard in alarm.

“Ha ha ha. Oh, it’s nothing.”
“It’s not that bad.”
“Ha ha ha,” replied the Silver Slug in a muffled voice.

“Mr. Slug. My stomach feels strangely hot,” the Lizard said worriedly.

“Ha ha ha.
“Oh, it’s nothing. It’s not that bad.
Ha ha ha,” replied the Silver Slug in a muffled voice.

“Mr. Slug.
It seems like half my body has melted.
Please stop,” the Lizard pleaded in a tearful voice.

“Ha ha ha.”
“Oh, it’s nothing.”
“It’s barely anything left.”
“Just an inch and a half now.”
“Ha ha ha,” said the Silver Slug.

When he heard that, the Lizard finally felt relieved.
Exactly then, his heart melted away.

Thereupon, the Silver Slug slurped up the Lizard in one gulp.
And he swelled to an immense size.

Having grown so large that he became drunk with joy, he ended up mocking that Spider.

And instead found himself mocked by the Spider in return, which made him come down with a fever.
Not only that, but the Silver Slug’s reputation had thoroughly soured.

The Silver Slug would always laugh with a “Ha ha ha” and speak in that hollow voice of his, but since his heart proved even fouler than the Spider and his ilk, everyone began treating him with contempt.
In particular, whenever the Silver Slug’s name came up, the Raccoon Dog would let out that odd laugh of his and say—

“Slugs are such disgusting creatures.
The clumsiness isn’t even worth watching.”

The Silver Slug heard this and became furious, falling ill once again.
In time, the Spider decayed and was washed away by the rain, so the Slug also felt some relief.

The following year, one day, the Tree Frog came to the Silver Slug’s splendid home.

And then,

“Mr．Slug．”
“Good day．”
“Might I trouble you for a drink of water？”［the Tree Frog］said．

The Silver Slug, wanting to gobble up this Tree Frog as well, resolutely said in a pleasant voice.

“Mr. Frog! Please, come in! Water? I’ll give you all you want! Sure it’s been dry lately, but hey—you and I are practically brothers! Ha ha ha!” The Silver Slug led him to the water jar.

The Tree Frog gulped down the water with loud swallows, then fixed an innocent stare at the Slug before saying, “Mr. Slug—how about a sumo match?”

The Silver Slug was pleased—this was going smoothly.
The Tree Frog had voiced exactly what he himself had been about to propose.
Five good throws ought to soften up this worn-out weakling enough to swallow whole.

“Let’s begin.”
“Hup!”
“There!”
“Ha ha ha.”
The Tree Frog went sprawling across the dirt.

“Again!”
“Ha ha ha.”
“Hup!”
“There!”
“Ha ha ha.”
The amphibian crashed down once more.
Then the battered Tree Frog scrambled upright, fumbling a cloth pouch from his breast as he gasped—

“I have to sprinkle salt on the sumo ring.”
“There!”
“Whoosh!”
Salt was sprinkled.

“Mr. Frog,” said the Silver Slug.

“Mr. Frog. This time, someone like me will surely lose, won’t I? You’re so strong, you see. Ha ha ha. Hup! There! Ha ha ha.” The Tree Frog was thrown violently.

And he spread his limbs wide, turned his bluish-white belly toward the sky, and lay there as if dead. The Silver Slug started moving toward him to gobble him up in one go, but for some reason, his legs wouldn’t budge. When he looked, his legs were already half melted.

“Ah! I’ve been had! Salt! Damn it!” said the Silver Slug.

When the Tree Frog heard this, he sat bolt upright, crossed his legs, and threw open his satchel-like mouth in a raucous laugh.
And he bowed to the Silver Slug and said:
“No—goodbye.
Mr. Slug.
This has turned into quite the disaster, hasn’t it?”

The Silver Slug was on the verge of tears,

“Mr. Frog. Goodb…” he tried to say, but his tongue had already melted.
The Tree Frog laughed uproariously,

“You wanted to say goodbye, didn’t you?
“A real goodbye, goodbye.
“When you pass through the dark alleyway and get to the other side, do give my stomach your regards,” he said, and gobbled up the Silver Slug in one go.

III. The Raccoon Dog Who Doesn’t Wash His Face

The Raccoon Dog did not wash his face.

Moreover, he didn't wash it on purpose.

The Raccoon Dog, just as the Spider had built a web the size of a two-sen copper coin on an oak tree at the forest entrance, was utterly starving, leaning against a pine tree with his eyes closed.
Then a rabbit arrived.

“Mr. Raccoon Dog.
“If I’m this starved, there’s simply nothing to be done.”
“I will simply perish.”

The Raccoon Dog adjusted the collar of his kimono and said.

“That’s right.”
“Everyone attains Buddhahood.”
“As per the Mountain Cat Great Deity’s divine will.”
“Na.”
“Namaneko.”
“*Namaneko.*”

The Rabbit also began chanting *Namaneko* alongside him.

“*Namaneko*, *namaneko*, *namaneko*, *namaneko.*”

The Raccoon Dog took the Rabbit’s hand and pulled it closer toward himself.

“*Namaneko*, *namaneko*, all is as the Mountain Cat Deity wills, *namaneko*.
“*Namaneko*, *namaneko*,” he chanted while gnawing on the Rabbit’s ear.
The Rabbit cried out in surprise.

“Ow! Mr. Raccoon Dog. This is too cruel!”

The Raccoon Dog gnawed on the Rabbit’s ear while mumbling indistinctly,

“*Namaneko*, *namaneko*, all is as the Mountain Cat Deity wills,” he chanted while finally devouring both of the Rabbit’s ears.

The Rabbit, upon hearing this as well, became so overjoyed that he shed streaming tears and said:
“*Namaneko*, *namaneko*.
Ah, how grateful I am, O Mountain Cat Deity.
If even a wretched being like myself can attain salvation, then two ears or such trifles are nothing at all.
*Namaneko.*”

The Raccoon Dog too let streaming false tears fall.

“*Namaneko*, *namaneko*. If even a lowly wretch like me can attain salvation, I’d offer up my hands or legs.
Ah, how grateful I am, O Mountain Cat Deity.
All is as the Deity wills,” he said, gnawing away at the Rabbit’s hands.

The Rabbit grew ever more delighted,

“Ah, how grateful I am, O Mountain Cat Deity.”
“If even a wretched being like myself can attain salvation, then two hands or such trifles are nothing at all.”
“*Namaneko*, *namaneko.*”

The Raccoon Dog pretended to cry so hard that his body seemed on the verge of becoming soggy from tears.

“*Namaneko*, *namaneko*. Could even a lowly, unworthy wretch like myself be permitted to serve you? Ah, how grateful! *Namaneko*, *namaneko*. As per the Deity’s will. Mumble-munch,” he mumbled through a mouthful.

The Rabbit completely vanished.

There, inside the Raccoon Dog’s stomach, the Rabbit said.

“I’ve been completely fooled.”
“Your belly’s pitch black inside.”
“Ah, how infuriating!”

The Raccoon Dog said angrily.

“Shut up! Hurry up and digest!”

And the Raccoon Dog struck his belly drum: pom-poko pom-pom.

Then exactly two months passed.

One day, while the Raccoon Dog was performing his usual sacred incantations at home, a wolf arrived carrying three shō of rice and requested, “Please grant me your sermon.”

Then the Raccoon Dog said.

“Everything is the Mountain Cat Deity’s will.”
“That you brought three shō of rice and that I’m preaching to you—all flows from His will.”
“The Mountain Cat Deity is a most gracious being.”
“They say Rabbit attained ministership by attending His side.”
“Since your taken lives surely exceed five hundred or a thousand, hasten your repentance.”
“Else the Mountain Cat Deity shall visit terrible torments upon you, mark me.”
“Oh how dreadful!”
“Namaneko.”
“Namaneko.”

The wolf, utterly terrified and looking around frantically, asked.

“Then what must I do to be saved?”

The Raccoon Dog said.

“I am the Mountain Cat Deity’s proxy, so do as I say.”
“Namaneko.”
“Namaneko.”

“What must I do?” the wolf asked hurriedly.
The Raccoon Dog said.

“Well, you see...
“Keep still now.”
“There.”
“I’ll pull out your fangs. There.”
“I’ll gouge out your eyes.”
“There.”
“And then.”
“Namaneko, namaneko, namaneko.”
“I’ll nibble your ears a bit.”
“Namaneko.”
“Namaneko.”
“Endure this.”
“I’ll bite your head off.”
“Mumble-munch.”
“Namaneko.”
“Patience is what matters, mark my words.”
“Na…ma….”
“Mumble-munch.”
“I’ll eat your legs.”
“Delicious.”

“Namaneko.”
“Mumble-munch.”
“Mumble-munch.”
“I’ll eat your back.”
“Delicious.”
“Mumble-munch, mumble-munch, mumble-munch.”

The Wolf spoke from within the Raccoon Dog’s belly.

It was pitch black here.
Ah, there were rabbit bones here.
Who could have killed it?
The one who killed it would probably get chewed up by Raccoon-sama later.

The Raccoon Dog forced a laugh: “Heh.”

Now, the Spider melted and flowed away, the Slug was utterly defeated, and the Raccoon Dog contracted a disease.

It was a disease where mud and water accumulated inside the body, swelling it uncontrollably, until finally fields and mountains formed within, rendering the Raccoon Dog’s body perfectly spherical like a globe.

And he turned pitch black, delirious with fever,
“Ugh… I’m scared… so scared…
I’ve run a hell-bound marathon.
Ugh… this pain…,” muttering this, he finally burned to death.

*

Indeed, when viewed this way, all three had been running a hell-bound marathon.