Pathway to Japanese Literature

Lovesickness

Umegyuudo was a long-established confectionery shop of repute in Tokyo.
The proprietor was quite fat but prone to neurasthenia.
The arranged meeting had been the cause of his illness’s onset.

Of course, it was not his first marriage.
Umegyuudo was fifty-three.
The deceased former wife had left behind three children—including a university student son—in her wake.

The woman he had met through the arranged marriage interview was also not a first-time bride.
Her name was Ms. Hatsune.
Her former husband had died of illness, and because there were no children, she had returned to her parents’ home.
She was only thirty.
She was quite a beauty.

The result of the arranged meeting was that Ms. Hatsune’s reply reached Umegyuudo the following day—a reply stating: "This marriage would not be desirable."

Umegyuudo promptly requested a private meeting with Ms. Hatsune and obtained her permission. Though he would have preferred a stylish traditional restaurant, resolving in his heart that *this* was the spirit of the times, he settled into an elegant café where lengthy symphony recordings played and fired off a barrage of questions akin to Twenty Questions.

“Is it because of our age difference?”

“Is it because I have three children?”

“Is my family business displeasing to you?”

“Is it because I’m too fat?”

“Is it because I’m bald?”

He had exhaustively listed every last one of his own shortcomings after thorough self-reflection—but none of Ms. Hatsune’s responses addressed any of them.
In the end，as Ms. Hatsune’s conclusion:

“While I deeply respect you as a fine gentleman，I’ve always been a selfish person.”
“That’s the whole reason.”
“If you were to marry someone like me，you’d only end up being inconvenienced.”

“If that’s what you mean by inconvenience，I have absolutely no problem with it.”

“You’re such a clueless man.”
“You shouldn’t be so indulgent toward women.”

“I will gradually work to improve my flaws, but in any case—using this connection as our starting point—would you consider continuing our courtship for the time being?”

“It’s better to cut ties with a nonexistent connection—saves us both the trouble.”

“Please bend on that point and endure this arrangement for the time being.”

It seemed he had managed to persuade her, and thus it was settled that she would continue their courtship for the time being.
This was the cause of his neurasthenia.
He had fallen in love.

Umegyuudo’s son Kazuo—a third-year humanities university student—was thoroughly exasperated by his father’s persistence and pleaded with Ms. Hatsune.

“If you have no intention of marrying him, I think you should refuse Dad’s calls and keep yourself hidden for a while.”
“Dad’s gonna collapse from lovesickness!”
“If murder’s a crime, then making someone gravely ill oughta be one too, I say.”

“That’s a threat, isn’t it?”

“If you’re getting a kick out of driving Dad to ruin, you’re downright devilish.”
“I get that’s your idea of fun, but...”

“I don’t have such vulgar taste!”

“Anyway, Dad has no self-control.”
“Even I—if I were a woman—would reject that man’s proposal, I think.”
“At this point, clearly rejecting him would be better for Dad too.”

“Really?”
“So you’ll take responsibility after I reject him?”

“I can’t take that kind of responsibility.”
“Responsibility is responsibility—they each have to be clear about it.”
“That’s unfair.”

“Well then, why don’t you just take the plunge and marry him? I actually wanted that outcome myself, but held back out of consideration for you.”

“If we marry, I’ll become your mother. A presumptuous brat like you would make for a strange son, wouldn’t it?”

“That’s incorrect.”
“You’re just Dad’s Mrs.”
“You are absolutely not my mother.”

“How practical of you.”

“So you do have some intention of marrying Dad after all.”

“About eighty-twenty, I suppose.”
“The twenty percent part.”

“Then there’s hope!”
“We’d count even one percent—no, even a tenth of a percent—as having potential.”
“Then we oughta make it more romantic.”
“You should set the mood.”
“Dad can’t do that, can he?”
“I’ll make a plan in Dad’s place.”
“Let’s take a trip deep into the mountains where no one goes.”
“Or rather, an academic trip might actually be romantic.”
“Since Dad has an interest in archaeology, if you went on an excavation trip or something, you might actually see him in a new light.”

“Archaeology? An exploration trip, you mean?”

“Could be.”

“How amusing.”

“Well then, let’s go with that.”

Kazuo visited Umegyuudo’s study together with Ms. Hatsune,

“There’s something interesting to discuss.”
“Father, if you keep associating with Ms. Hatsune in the city, you’ll go mad before long. You ought to embark on a primitive journey into tranquil wilderness.”
“Since Ms. Hatsune has agreed to come along, let’s do an archaeological excavation trip.”
“And please teach us archaeology.”

“Archaeology? Me?”
“I don’t know anything about that!”

“Oh come on,”
“I know.”
“Even though you were overjoyed picking up what looked like pottery shards before.”

“I only developed a passing interest by copying what I saw.”

“That’s more than enough.”
“Quickly decide on the destination for the trip.”
“Not too far away, but in a primitive, untamed wilderness—and if there’s a hot spring, all the better.”

Umegyuudo was secretly overjoyed.
He’d always thought his son was some postwar apure brat—an unmanageable, shiftless college student—but wasn’t the kid actually quite the devoted and filial son?
In any case, he did well.
Resolving that he must seize this perfect opportunity to capture Hatsune-san’s heart, he spent that night flipping through travel guides and books on geography, history, and archaeology until nearly dawn.

Since he’d left the family business to others and become a lifelong idler, he dabbled in horse racing, took up fishing, immersed himself in painting and literature—and yes, had even nurtured a slight interest in archaeology and such. Though he remained a dilettante in all things, as dust accumulates into something, his head overflowed with half-baked erudition while books flooded his study. Not this one, not that one—he was constitutionally ill-suited to searching through them sleeplessly, but whether the gods took pity on his earnestness, as dawn approached,

“This is it.” “This is perfect!”

He found himself slapping his knee and exclaiming. That was the fateful Kurotaki Hot Springs. It was located deep within a certain famous mountain in the Kanto region. The hot spring’s elevation was listed as seven hundred ninety-something meters. From the mountains nearby, an extremely large number of giant stone tools had been excavated and discovered. The sheer enormity of them—large stone mortars, boat-shaped objects, massive stones of unknown purpose, and so on. Moreover, the area was surrounded by countless waterfalls—the largest measuring over twenty *jo* (sixty meters)—while there were bottomless caves and what appeared to be collective dwelling sites of ancient peoples. These features had been discovered at some point by unnamed individuals and left untouched—disregarded by academic circles, never investigated by renowned scholars. Not only was there no risk of his half-baked erudition being exposed, but this land seemed like virgin territory where even he might make some new discovery.

Kazuo also heard this and was delighted,

“There’s definitely a hot spring inn there, right?”

“Spa springs dot that area, each apparently with its own inn.”
“Though it says they mainly cater to self-catering guests.”

“Then we’ll bring loads of whiskey and fancy treats.”
“Let’s do this romantically.”
“Really get into the mood!”

They finished all their preparations and set out for Kurotaki Hot Springs.

Primitive Inn

After transferring from JNR to a private railway, they alighted at a bleak town at the mountain’s base.
When they asked a taxi driver at the station to take them to Kurotaki, he scratched his head,

“The bus service is suspended today. When it rains, buses can’t get through.”
“So hiring a car isn’t feasible either.”

“Since we’ve come all the way from Tokyo for an academic survey, you should make an effort.”
“This here’s the great professor of archaeology, this lady’s his assistant, and I’m the thug apprentice and bag carrier.”

They had predetermined their roles for the trip before departure.
The idea was to keep everything romantic.

“I see.”
“If you’re people of such standing, then for the sake of this land, I’ll oblige.”
“However, the car can’t reach Kurotaki itself.”
“We can drive about four kilometers past the bus terminal, but you’ll need to walk the final kilometer.”
“It’s quite the mountain path, mind you.”

As one would expect from the bus service being suspended, the road proved to be extremely treacherous. The bus’s tire tracks had sunk over a foot deep. There were numerous spots where walking outpaced the car’s speed, requiring them to either scout ahead and wait for the vehicle or push it from behind each time. When they had driven as far as the car could go, from there a treacherous mountain path descended toward the valley floor.

“This looks like the kind of path where a twenty-foot serpent or giant centipede might come crawling out, huh?”
“I shouldn’t have brought such a huge load.”
“Why don’t we split up the load a bit?”

“It’s the bag carrier’s duty—no can do.”

Kazuo had to grit his teeth and walk the treacherous one-kilometer path.
The backpack piled mountain-high with romantic provisions was tremendously heavy.

“This path is for bears and deer, you know.”
“This isn’t a path hot spring guests use.”
“Given how narrow this path is, one might think not a single guest has come to Kurotaki Hot Springs in two or three years.”

It was indeed such a treacherous path and narrow trail that one could readily draw that conclusion.

The valley floor had several waterfalls.
And there was an inn.
When they crossed the suspension bridge that could only be traversed single file, they found the inn.

"Oh! The electric lights are on!"
"It's self-generated electricity."

"Ah! There's a group of guests!"

From the second-floor window, a grandmother, a young woman around twenty, and an elementary school-aged boy were waving their hands in welcome.
Kazuo’s eyes sparkled,

“She’s quite a beauty, isn’t she?”
“Rare for a chick.”

“What do you think she looks like up close?”

“Is her beauty only meant to be admired from afar? She’s like an oil painting.”

An old man with an utterly unfamiliar, bizarre countenance silently welcomed them.
The forehead was broad, and the nose and chin were narrow and pointed.
And his face was a reddish-copper color, resembling a bird or perhaps a tengu—specifically a Konoha Tengu.

From the second floor, they came running down in order—the boy at the front, followed by the girl and the grandmother—but when the boy noticed Konoha Tengu, he stopped in surprise,

“Oh! Old man, you’re out here.”
“That’s unusual.”
“Weren’t you in the mountains?”
“I thought there wasn’t anyone else to greet the guests, so I came out to welcome them.”

“Ahahaha!”
“Old man, aren’t you the innkeeper?”
“You’ve gotta say ‘hello,’ y’know.”
“Just standin’ there like a post ain’t gonna cut it.”

Though told this by the grandmother, Konoha Tengu showed no sign of caring.
When the three had finished removing their shoes, he turned around sharply and began ascending the stairs—a gesture meaning they should follow.
However, he actually knew Japanese and was surprisingly talkative.

“What brings ya all this way?”

“We’ve come to see the stone tools and caves, you see.”

“That sack—straw sandals?”

He pointed at the backpack and said something strange.
As Umegyuudo struggled to respond, Konoha Tengu explained,

"The places with stone tools and caves—they aren’t spots you can just walk into."
"You need straw sandals with gaiters."
"Shoes won’t do."
"And for clothes—best wear old ones you’ve already broken in, ready to tumble and get caked in mud two or three times."

“Is it the same kind of path we came on just now?”

“You fool. That was a proper path, I tell you. There’s no path to the caves or stone tools. Let go or slip even once, and you’ll plunge straight to the valley floor to your death.”

“Can we really make it there?”

“Since no one’s fallen to their death yet, you’ll all be fine. I can’t guide you myself since I have mountain work, but I’ll arrange for an old-timer who knows every inch of these mountains to be your guide.”

“Thank you.”

“This is a mineral spring—the Wakashi-yu—so bathing hours are from 7:00 AM to 9:00 PM, but during the day, you’re better off bathing under that waterfall over there.”

Konoha Tengu pointed at the waterfall visible from the window. It stood about three times an adult’s height. The water rushed down in abundant volume. Its plunge pool spread wide, framed by rocks and trees into a scene of rugged beauty.

“Bathe under that waterfall?”

Konoha Tengu nodded.

“That is Kurotaki Waterfall.”

He spoke as if assuming everyone knew of Kurotaki. Having said this, he rose silently and departed.

Soon after, he returned with an elderly guide said to know every inch of these mountains. The old man’s face formed a perfect comic contrast to Konoha Tengu’s—absurdly round. Wrinkles covered every part of it, resembling a rice ball wrapped in cheap red nori. They say both Konoha Tengu and Onigiri had dwelled in these mountains for generations.

The three archaeologists later burst out laughing and talked among themselves.

“This inn is completely run by cavemen.”

“For all that talk about cavemen running this place, they’ve got self-generated electricity and even a Wakashi-yu bath—doesn’t that show some progressive spirit?”

“And yet, I can’t fathom why they’d want us to bathe in that waterfall.”

“That’s precisely where their instinctual baseness lies.”
“They might just be using stone tools as well alongside their self-generated electricity.”

Thus began life at Kurotaki Hot Springs—a life so bizarre it felt as though they’d been abruptly hurled into another world.

Somewhat romantically,

Kazuo, who had been the first to take a bath, returned flushed and with a somewhat dreamy expression.
He began to recount what he had just experienced, as though the very act of remembering pained him.

“There were a girl and a boy in the bath.”
“I’m not trying to copy the Churchill Club or anything, but through this membership organization doing oil painting and nude photography and such, I’ve seen women’s naked bodies before, you know.”
“But let me tell you—I’ve never encountered a girl who’d show her completely naked body so casually in front of a young man like me. No hesitation at all, like it’s no different from wearing a kimono.”
“There are women who show their naked bodies without a care, but in those cases, they’re putting on an act of nonchalance.”
“It’s a nonchalance born from being conscious of their naked bodies.”
“That girl is different.”
“She’s free—just like when she’s wearing a kimono.”
“She’s utterly pure.”
“It’s not so much innocence as cleverness, I suppose.”
“I thought she was exceptionally clever.”
“And she’s wonderfully beautiful.”
“Not just her face—her entire body…”

He looked as though possessed by a feverish delirium.

Hatsune-san was delighted.

“Oh?”
“Is she really that bold?”
“I’ll do it too!”

Grabbed a towel and cosmetics and hurried off to the bath.
It also seemed to be for observing the beauty.
However, she returned angrily.

“When I went there, she was already putting on a kimono.”
“She kept staring at me so strangely.”
“And then she goes, ‘You’re such a pretty sis, y’know.’”
“She’s making fun of me!”

“It’s because Hatsune-san’s attitude was bad.”
“Your nosy curiosity got spotted by sharp-witted her.”

“What do you mean ‘nosy’?!”

“Oh, come on—stop it.”
“I’ll go take a bath too.”

Umegyuudo also set out with a towel slung over his shoulder, but in the hallway, the girl and the boy were leaning against the wall as though they had been waiting for just that.
As he tried to pass by them,

“Fatty-chan.”
“Hello—”

It was the older sister who first called out in a deliberately thin voice.
Then the younger brother followed suit,

“Mr. 100-Kan Fatso, you’re huge!”

Umegyuudo was timid by nature, so even when children teased him, he would blush in embarrassment.
It was the sort of constitution that made him blush all the way up to his neck.
The boy keenly noticed that and,

“Whoa!
“You turned bright red!”
“Mr. 100-Kan Fatso, you Octopus Monk!”

Umegyuudo felt as though his very life were shrinking in that moment.
He returned and said.

“Calling her an exceptionally clever girl? Don’t make me laugh.”
“She’s a delinquent.”

“How could such a thing be possible?”
“Because I’ve spoken with her, I know.”

“Nonsense.”

“Father, what have you seen?”

“What I saw wasn’t a naked body, so I won’t get dazzled like you.”

With that, Umegyuudo dodged the question with evasive words.
He lacked the courage to honestly admit that he had been teased.

Just then, the boy arrived.
Placing several steamed potatoes on a tray, he showed not the slightest fear of the three adults,

“Please eat this,” she said.
“And then she says only Brother should come have tea together.”
“Come on.”

“Oh? Wait up.”

Kazuo grabbed his cigarettes and lighter and stood up without a moment’s hesitation, then, on second thought, changed into his school uniform without the slightest hint of embarrassment, and sauntered off, leaving the two of them behind.

“Only Brother, he says.”
“Making fun of me, aren’t they?”

When Hatsune-san saw the inn’s dog wandering around the garden, she grabbed a potato and threw it.
The dog ran away.

Then, before long, the boy came,

“What a waste! Give back the potato.”

“What I’ve received is mine.”
“Even if I gave it to a dog or chicken, you wouldn’t care, would you?”
“Ah, right, right.”
“I’ll give you something nice.”

Hatsune-san considered taming the boy to get her own revenge.
She took out an apple pie and canned peaches from her backpack, invited the boy into the room, and treated him.

“How is it?
It’s delicious, right?”

“Rice crackers are way tastier.”

“This is peach.
It’s delicious, right?”

“The peaches from my place are way tastier!”

“Where’s your house?”

“Even if I told you, you wouldn’t know.”

“That’s quite the logical excuse.
Are all the people in your village like that?”

“The folks in my village are real sharp.”

“You’re not cute at all.”

“Do Tokyo folks eat stuff like this?”

“That’s right.”
“We eat much, much tastier things.”
“We don’t touch stuff like Osenbe rice crackers or steamed Shaga potatoes.”

“You don’t know Monjayaki, do ya?”

“Wouldn’t know it.”

“Tastes damn good!”
“Wanna make those Tokyo bastards try it!”

“Do you like coffee?”

“American stuff’s real good.”

“Coffee isn’t an American product.”
“That so?”
“That’s right.”
“Then where’s it from?”
“Mocha.”
“Java.”
“Brazil.”

“Brazil, huh. Hmph.”

“Seems you only knew Brazil.”

“I know Java too, I tell ya! Do you know Río Grande del Norte? You don’t know, do ya?”

“What a cheeky kid. Are you even Japanese? You must be a half-breed.”

“My village is the best in Japan!”

“That’s enough—go home now.”

Unable to bear it any longer, she requested he return to his inn. The boy stood up leisurely.

“Hand over the potatoes.”

He made off with the entire tray.
Hatsune-san seemed to have had all her venom stripped away.

“Are country children all like that, I wonder?”

“As if.”

“For someone so naive about the world, he’s awfully competitive.”
“He seems to think his village is the center of Japan.”
“How spiteful.”

“If you think of me as naive about the world, I suppose it won’t anger you.”

“It’s infuriating.”
“Does that even exist?”
“Rio... Grande... del... Norte?”

“Río Grande del Norte.”
“It’s the name of a river flowing along the U.S.-Mexico border.”

“Oh, is that so.
“I thought it sounded like an Apache name.”
“You even know such strange things.”

She lashed out indiscriminately.
Kazuo seemed to have been captivated by the daughter of Japan’s greatest village and showed no sign of returning.
From time to time, raucous, idiotic laughter could be heard.
Hatsune-san had been insulted by the village boy and betrayed by Kazuo; for the first time, she seemed to feel something akin to a connection with Umegyuudo.

Twilight fell.
Evening cicadas sang.
The sound of several waterfalls filled the valley floor.

“Let’s go for a walk.”

“Yes.”
“Let’s do that.”

The inn’s geta were terrible.
They had apparently been proper geta from a geta shop originally, but their first-generation straps had been lost and replaced with ones made of straw rope.

“A cross between waraji straw sandals and geta,” Umegyuudo remarked.
“These straps might snap while we’re walking.”

“Let’s walk carefully then,” Hatsune-san advised.

However, as it happened, Umegyuudo’s sandal strap snapped clean off while they were on the suspension bridge.
He strained with all his might to stop himself from lurching forward.
Because his twenty-three kan five hundred mon bulk staggered, the suspension bridge swayed.

“Aah!”

Just as Hatsune-san was about to lose her balance, Umegyuudo—who had staggered forward and was now right behind her—desperately caught her.
There were handrail-like things on both sides, but since the footing was a single plank, misstepping would send them sliding straight down to the valley floor.

“Hold on, please!
“I’m terribly sorry.”
“I almost killed you.”
“The strap on my geta broke, and I staggered.”
“But it’s okay.”
“Ah, that startled me!”

“Hold me. Don’t let go of my hand. My head is spinning. I can’t support myself.”
“It’s all right now, so please steady yourself.”
“Yes, but… well, it’s not going back to normal right away.”
“Keep your eyes tightly closed.”
“Yes. I have ringing in my ears, you know.”

Hatsune-san was gripping Umegyuudo’s wrist so tightly that sweat began to seep through. Consciousness returned to her. The warmth from Umegyuudo embracing her from behind seeped into her body. It brought an indescribable pleasure. There, she deliberately feigned lingering haziness in her consciousness for a minute or two—a sweet sense of guilt swelling within her. Then she felt something both tender and faintly resentful toward Umegyuudo.

“That’s enough now. Let me go, please.”

“Are you really all right?”

“Thank you. It’s all right now.”

Hatsune-san briskly crossed the suspension bridge.
Even after reaching the opposite bank, she couldn’t hear Umegyuudo’s footsteps, so when she turned to look, he was sitting on his butt around the middle of the suspension bridge.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m afraid one of my geta has gone missing.”
“They’re apparently family heirlooms worn down by generations of ancestors, so I’m searching for them…”

“You don’t need to search—it’s obvious, isn’t it?”
“We’re on a single plank, after all.”
“If it’s not here, then it fell down to the valley floor.”

“Well, that does seem to be the case.”

Just when things were getting romantic—what a disaster.
Hatsune-san was thoroughly fed up.

The Cave Beauty

The next morning, Onigiri Jiisan arrived early to guide the archaeological expedition team and waited for the group to awaken.
The group awoke quite early, but what followed was truly arduous.
First, they washed their faces and went to the toilet.
This toilet was a nightmare.
It seemed it hadn’t been cleaned for generations.
Hatsune-san had been weeping since the previous night.

“Before we came, it was even dirtier, they say.”
“Apparently that grandmother couldn’t take it anymore and cleaned up all the filth—somehow got it like this now.”
“The grandmother’s granddaughter—you know, that famous beauty—is called Okahime.”
“They say they had no choice but to clean it up desperately like that because she refused to use the toilet.”

“That’s what they call cleaning?”

“That’s what they say.”
“They say it can’t be helped any further.”
“And so...”
“Okahime still doesn’t use the toilet, they say.”

“How does she manage?”

“Apparently she goes down to the valley floor to relieve herself under the waterfall.”

“What about at night?”

“Apparently it’s the same at night.”
“Last night, she went out late with Granny again.”

“How absurd.”

“She’s fastidious and cute, just like a proper young lady.”

“I’m sorry for not being fastidious enough, then.”

Hatsune-san, angered, thudded loudly into the toilet with heavy footsteps.
She had to concentrate her attention to an abnormal degree to ensure that her kimono or any part of her body didn’t come into contact with the filthy objects.
Hatsune-san took out paper to grip the door even as she opened it.
When she emerged from the toilet, her fatigue would accumulate, leaving her utterly drained.

At last, the group finished both bathing and eating.
For meals, Konoha Tengu Jiisan would only bring rice and miso soup.
It was fortunate they’d brought canned food, but even so—the rice was mixed with barley, and the miso soup resembled nothing more than salty hot water. Everything was the antithesis of romantic.
The only one in high spirits was Kazuo,

“I’m resigning from the archaeological research.”
“I’ve got an invitation from Okahime, you see.”
“It’s better if I don’t go—that way you two can be romantic, right?”

He had been betrayed by Kazuo once again, but when it came time to prepare for departure, Onigiri Jiisan’s warnings reached an extreme level of severity.
Dirty Western-style clothes, leggings, straw sandals.
Even if you said that, there was nothing to be done about something that wasn’t prepared.

“It’s fine—so what if we get muddy?”

“Then just put on the straw sandals.”

He searched elsewhere for worn-out tabi boots that would fit the two of them and made them wear straw sandals over those.
The tabi boots were riddled with holes.
Hatsune-san had fortunately brought a pair of trousers, which proved useful.

With preparations complete, they set out.
They made a massive detour along yesterday’s road back to where the car had stopped, returning once again to a point above the opposite side of the valley.
It was a ridiculous detour, but the path up to that point wasn’t treacherous enough to require straw sandals.

At their feet was a cliff, below them lay the inn, and the waterfall came into view.
Umegyuudo shouted.

“Ah! There’s someone in the plunge pool! That’s the girl!”

“Ahaha! That girl goes to the plunge pool to do her business.”

The girl played in the plunge pool completely naked. She might have been relieving herself. Though it was summer, at 790 meters above sea level, the temperature normally hovered around 22 degrees. This mountain stream was said to have relatively warm water, but it was still a mountain stream. This was a different story from Tokyo tap water.

Before long, the girl approached the waterfall.
The moment she reached beneath the waterfall, she appeared to be struck down by its force, suddenly toppled sideways and vanished into the water’s depths.

“Ah! This is terrible!”

“She’s still gone.”

“Ah! Isn’t that Kazuo?”

“Exactly.”
“Kazuo-san, steady now!”

The completely naked Kazuo aimed for the waterfall and rushed into the plunge pool.
He dove under the waterfall.
After that, he didn’t come out for quite some time.

“What’s happening?”

Umegyuudo turned pale and was voiceless.

“Ah!”
“They’ve come out.”
“The girl’s with him too!”
“They’re embracing each other, being pummeled by the waterfall.”

“Ugh.”

Umegyuudo opened his closed eyes.
He cautiously gazed into the plunge pool.
Sure enough, they were there.
They were being pummeled by the waterfall.
Sometimes they merged into one; other times they separated again.
They seemed to be embracing, entangling, and generally struggling.

“Ugh.”
“It’s beautiful.”

“It’s beautiful.”

“Grand nature, isn’t it?”

“Exactly.”
“Grand nature, isn’t it?”

“They’re still alive after all.”

“Nah, it’s nothing special.”

Onigiri Jiisan interjected from beside them.

"That girl ain't gonna die."
"There's a space behind the waterfall where the water don't hit."
"She goes there 'n' does her business."

"Nah."
"She went 'n' did 'er business."

"Yep."
"She's a resourceful one."
"Found herself Japan's best toilet spot."

The man and woman in the plunge pool entwined and embraced each other like water spirits. There seemed to be no end in sight. The girl’s excrement might still have been swirling around somewhere nearby, washed by the waterfall, but Kazuo seemed unaware.

“Truly, this is nature in its purest form.”

Umegyuudo started walking.
Now began the true ordeal.
Passing naked through the waterfall had been comparatively easy.
They now had to traverse behind the cascade while fully clothed in kimonos.
Even this remained among the less arduous trials.
Next came gripping a wire to cross a log bridge.
At last they arrived at the treacherous climb—grasping tree roots, finding handholds and footholds on rocks, hauling themselves upward through deliberate, measured steps.

Onigiri Jiisan climbed up humming a tune out of habit, but the remaining two were struggling terribly.
At least Hatsune-san remained vigorous.
She was still young.
Merging with grand nature as if her wildness had been reawakened, she overflowed with vitality.
In stark contrast stood Umegyuudo—a twenty-three-and-a-half-kan lump of flesh.
Yet even this bulk retained some value; back in his slender youth he'd dabbled in mountaineering, and those half-forgotten skills now grudgingly offered their assistance.

Hatsune-san was brimming with wildness and overflowing with reckless spirit, but because she lacked experience, her hand and foot movements were wasteful, causing her to tire easily.

“Grab the rock above.
Put your foot in that indentation.”

From below, Umegyuudo gave detailed instructions for each move, yet it was Umegyuudo himself who was utterly exhausted.
Countless times he was assailed by fantasies of letting go and plunging into the valley, yet that he managed with difficulty to fend off these unsettling temptations seemed almost miraculous.
Hatsune-san let go and fell.
Then, in that tangle, he himself below was naturally pushed down, and the two became entangled together as they fell to the valley floor.
That too was grand nature.
It was much like the young man and woman who had been entwined and embracing in the plunge pool earlier.
While one was brimming with the joy of life and the other remained an oaf through and through, it was still grand nature all the same.
If Hatsune-san were to fall, I would gladly join her in the plunge—so thought Umegyuudo as he fantasized about their fleeting entanglement in midair, that momentary contact of flesh he deemed both final and supreme.
Gasping for breath, he continued climbing while lost in his fantasies.

He finally reached the top.
Hatsune-san stretched and took three or four deep breaths, regaining her bearings, but when she turned to look, Umegyuudo lay on all fours at the summit, limbs splayed out.
Perhaps finally realizing he was before the beauty he courted, he gritted his teeth, pulled his upper body upright, and tried laughing while sitting cross-legged—but his face remained thoroughly tear-stained.

“You’ve gotten so exhausted.”

“This massive body… this twenty-three kan five hundred…”

He was gasping for breath.
After receiving a drink of water from Onigiri Jiisan, he finally regained some semblance of composure.

There was the cave.
It was a cave that none of the villagers had yet fully explored to its depths.
Finally crawling on their bellies and squeezing through, they emerged into a pitch-black hall.
As they climbed upward from there, the space gradually narrowed into something like a corridor, forcing them to crawl on their bellies once more.
Beyond that appeared to be another hall where the sound of flowing water could be heard, but his twenty-three kan five hundred massive body could not pass through here.

“I really want to go just a bit further.”
“Is it alright if I go on ahead?”
“Go on ahead.”

Leaving Umegyuudo behind in the pitch-black corridor, Onigiri Jiisan and Hatsune-san vanished into the distant hall beyond the rocks, guided by their flashlight’s beam.
Umegyuudo, in this world of complete darkness, found himself tormented by fantasies once more.
What if her flashlight’s battery died and they lost their way back?
At that moment, he considered becoming a mummy right there on the spot.
Yet as hunger gradually crept in, he began doubting whether he truly possessed the resolve to stay and mummify himself.
For a massive twenty-three-and-a-half-kan body to cease breathing and become a mummy would likely require lingering near death for at least two months.
He found this prospect excruciating.
Though he felt remorse toward Hatsune-san, his melancholy fantasy concluded that becoming a mummy here seemed impossible.

“What an absurd fantasy this was.”
“Probably a fantasy bestowed by grand nature.”

Truly nostalgic grand nature.
It was a complete, astonishing darkness.
And the severity of the rocks closing in and the presence of clear water.

“Sorry to keep you waiting.”

Hatsune-san returned.

“It was pitch black—you must’ve been lonely.”

“I felt like I was going to turn into a mummy right there as I was.”

“This is true darkness, isn’t it.”
“And for darkness to be brimming with such vitality—it’s wonderful.”
“Is this what awaits humans after death, I wonder?”
“I…”
“I suddenly thought about fate, you know.”

Onigiri Jiisan led the way down.
Hatsune-san stopped Umegyuudo and stood motionless amid the mountains.
Then she whispered.

“I’ll marry you.”
“I won’t throw any more tantrums.”
“I love you.”
“Just like this cave.”
“Kiss me.”

They kissed.
For Umegyuudo, it was a blissful instant of being a living mummy.
O grand nature!

The Fairy’s True Nature

That day, they could no longer walk any further.
And given that other historic sites lay along paths even more treacherous than here, even Umegyuudo and Hatsune-san no longer felt the need to commune further with nature.

Just as the two had returned to the inn and were sprawled out completely, Grandmother arrived.

“Well hello there! Pardon my intrusion.”

and she came trotting in alone,

“What d’ya think?”
“My house’s been the foremost family in these parts since way back—your boy and my granddaughter oughta make a fine match now, don’tcha reckon?”

“Huh... A marriage proposal?”

“Indeed it is!”
“What with our mutual misfortunes—and my granddaughter’s looks being first or second in all Japan; had times been different, she’d be Miss Nippon, you know.”
“Schizophrenia, y’see.”
“She was hospitalized once at a Tokyo hospital, but it didn’t take.”
“I’d given up on her ever marrying, but for her to meet your dear son here—the gods move in strange ways.”
“Well, if we’re both households of patients, then it’s just fitting, ain’t it?”
“My granddaughter seems taken with your dear son, and your boy’s already neck-deep for her, ain’t he?”

"My son is a university student."

“My granddaughter went to girls’ school too, you know.”
“With that illness, school’s pointless anyway.”

“He’s still enrolled.”

“Best quit while you can, ain’t ya?”

“Does my son look like a madman to you?”

“My granddaughter don’t seem like one neither, but…”
“Can’t tell ’less it’s during one of her fits.”

“My son isn’t sick.”

“Quit puttin’ on airs.”
“We’re all in the same boat here.”
“Besides—you two’ve probably done the deed already anyway.”
“We’ll talk proper-like another time.”

Grandmother bamboozled the two and made a grand exit.

As the two stood dumbfounded, Onigiri Jiisan came to check on their exhaustion.

“How ’bout tomorrow’s schedule?”

“We’re too exhausted—we’d like to rest tomorrow.”

“That’s right.”
“That’s right.”
“Ain’t no need to rush things.”

“By the way, Mr. Jiisan. I hear the girl next door has a mental illness.”
“I hear the girl next door has a mental illness.”

“’Course it is.
“What’re you noticing that now for?”

“Why?”

“’Course, one of them family guests comin’ to this hot spring’s a nutcase.”
“It’s been a nutcase’s hot spring since ancient times.”
“Everyone gettin’ pummeled by the waterfall’s a nutcase.”
“Sane folks don’t go lookin’ for toilets behind waterfalls.”

“I see. So that’s how it is.”

“Your dear son’s in a pitiable state too，ain't he? Well，take your time recuperatin'.”

When Onigiri Jiisan left, Hatsune-san burst out laughing.
She couldn’t stop laughing.
Umegyuudo too found himself swept along and laughed uncontrollably for a time, but when he regained his composure, this was no moment for levity.
If those two had indeed grown intimate, that Grandmother would never let such a chance slip by.
The whole affair now hung like storm clouds demanding they take that girl as a bride to clear the air.

Just as they were growing impatient, Kazuo returned from his long walk with the girl.

“You haven’t gone and gotten physically involved with that girl, I trust?”

“Don’t you dare mock me! But she’s wonderful. She’s pure, clever, and also wild. I like her.”

“Are you really not physically involved with her?”

“Oh, come on. Why do you ask?”
“Weren’t you embracing each other in the plunge pool this morning?”

“I was so startled at the time,”
“When her figure got swallowed by the waterfall and vanished, I dove under it.”
“As I slipped out behind the cascade—there she was.”
“She suddenly clung to me.”
“I thought she was a waterfall spirit!”
“She just wouldn’t let go, see?”
“We ended up getting shoved right under the pounding falls like that!”
“She was the very image of a fairy’s grace—and wildness incarnate!”

“Don’t be absurd. The girl was relieving herself. Then you showed up—she panicked and shoved you straight into the waterfall!”

“That’s quite the deduction you’ve made there.”
“You’re jealous, aren’t you, Dad?”

“You, go down and ask Konoha Tengu or Onigiri-san.”
“Find out what illness this hot spring cures and who exactly those people being pummeled by the waterfall are.”
“And who the girl really is—and just to be thorough, who you yourself are as well.”
“In the meantime, we’ll be packing up.”
“We’re making our retreat while there’s still daylight.”

They fled in a flurry that very day.

They crossed the suspension bridge and climbed up from the valley floor with frantic haste.
When they had climbed up to where the valley floor was no longer visible, Umegyuudo finally found himself at ease.

“Oh, magnificent nature!”

He was once again completely overwhelmed by profound emotion.
And while his archaeological endeavors had been a failure, he felt supreme satisfaction in having excavated a beauty from the dark cave.