Pathway to Japanese Literature

Characters

Namiki
Namiki’s Wife
Miwa
Miwa’s Wife

Place: The rooftop garden of a certain department store

Time: A mid-September afternoon

Two couples formed a group and engaged in small talk.
One represented the wealthy gentleman-and-wife type; the other embodied a man and woman typical of impoverished salaryman couples.

Despite the men appearing extremely friendly with one another, the women seemed to be forcing smiles over feelings of mutual reserve.

“So—done with your shopping yet?”

Namiki: “Shopping…?”
“Who cares about shopping?”

Miwa came to this store now and then.

Namiki came now and then.
However, he rarely shopped.
"If this place weren't a rooftop garden, you know, we wouldn't come here."

Miwa: "We don't come here much either, but hey—remember that guy who jumped off here and killed himself some time back? It was in the papers, right? Thinking about that made me feel like coming up today."

Namiki: "Ah, that one…"

(The group peered down below as if belatedly.)

Miwa’s Wife: “We can’t possibly stay here.”

Namiki’s Wife: “Really…”

Namiki: “They say he did it because he was caught shoplifting, but this is certainly one way out.”

Miwa’s Wife: “A way out, you say… Is dying the way out?”

Miwa: “That’s right. However, this is my first time coming up to a place like this—it’s rather an unusual spot, isn’t it?”

Namiki: “Lately, even when I walk through the city, I don’t come across anything that particularly delights my eyes—but coming up here has become almost a daily routine.”

“That’s just like your little indulgence.”

Namiki: “That’s right.”

Miwa: “No—that wasn’t what I meant...
“Madam—since it’s been ages since I last met Namiki here, and this is my first chance to make your acquaintance—why don’t we all share a leisurely meal together?”

Miwa’s Wife: “I agree wholeheartedly.”

Miwa: “So you’re agreeing.”
“How about it?”
“You wouldn’t have any objections now, would you?”

Namiki’s Wife (looking toward her husband): “But…”

Namiki: “I suppose so…”

“That’s fine, you…”

Namiki’s Wife: “In this state, I…”

Miwa’s Wife: “Oh, do look at me…”

Miwa: “Who cares about kimonos? Well then, I’ll take you somewhere more relaxed.”

Namiki: “But what are we…?”

Miwa: “Well, leave it to me. (To his wife) Well then, if you’ve got shopping to do, why don’t you hurry up and finish it? I’ll be here having a good talk with Mr. Namiki, so…”

Miwa’s Wife (whispers something into her husband’s ear)

“That’s right, of course.”

Namiki turned to his wife. “Didn’t you say you wanted to look at something too? Go on and take a look.”

Namiki’s Wife (whispered something into her husband’s ear)

Namiki: “Who cares about such things…”

The women exchanged glances and exited while laughing.

Miwa: “She’s quite a lovely wife you’ve got there.”

Namiki: “Beat me to the punch, did you? Yours is the rare find here. I think I’ve seen hers somewhere before—maybe in a magazine’s frontispiece.”

Miwa: “She’s no such thing. Do you have any children yet?”

Namiki: “That’s rather abrupt of you. Unfortunately still on our second.”

Miwa: “The second…?”

Namiki (smirking)

Miwa: "Ah, I see. I hadn't noticed."

Namiki: "Never mind that—you never seem to age, do you? Are you happy?"

Miwa: "I wouldn't say unhappy, but you—are you not as composed as you appear?"

Namiki: "Who knows how I appear? I'm not getting anywhere."

Miwa: "Forgive my bluntness—but what are you... currently...?"

Namiki: "Where I live?"

“Ah, I want to hear that too, but really—what are you doing now?”

“What do you mean? I can’t do anything at all.”

“After graduating, I’d heard you were writing something… but….”

“Back then, even so, I was doing something. Nowadays, you see, any job worthy of the name runs away from me.”

Miwa: “That can’t be true.”

A rather long pause.

Namiki (suddenly, in a sentimental tone): “Truly, this place is fascinating. Look there—what you see over there is the Imperial Hotel. I’ve never slept in one of those rooms over there. But when I come up here and look down at that roof, the Imperial Hotel feels like nothing special. Look there. That is the Bank of Japan. Inside there must surely be huge vaults, but I can’t help thinking such vaults are no different from dustbins. This isn’t some strange sour grapes. In other words, when you come up here, reality doesn’t register as reality to these eyes. It only registers as a kind of caricature.”

“Why did you bring that up again?”

“And then, look at those automobiles. I’ve only ridden in a taxi twice in my life—once when I accompanied the president to Tokyo Station and he forgot his seal at home, so he ordered me to fetch it and called this guy named Jitsuyō for me, and another time when I was made to help at the campaign office of some city council candidate who was the president’s acquaintance—they told me to ride around in an automobile handing out flyers, that time…”

Miwa: “Oh, so you’ve done that kind of thing too?”

Namiki: “I did.”
“Look at those automobiles.”
“I generally think of automobiles as monsters that splash mud on us as they pass by.”
“But when you look at them from here, they seem like such innocent toys.”
“Clumsy, bungling, yet pretentious and high-strung.”
“Isn’t this truly an adorable creature?”

“You just mentioned ‘president’—are you working at some company now?”

“It’s not exactly a company. It’s a small bookstore. Even so, since they’ve tacked the character for ‘company’ onto the store’s name, everyone there calls themselves ‘the president’ or ‘employees’—that’s how it goes.”

“When you say ‘bookstore,’ you mean publishing, right?”

“Well, I suppose so.”

“That must be interesting.”

“Interesting? Not a chance.”
“And standing here like this, I can sense a beautiful world beneath my feet.”
“Of course, I don’t mean there are luxurious fabrics or pricey ornaments on display.”
“Let me explain—whenever I come up from below, I always make a mental note. Just saying that won’t make sense, will it? Right now, as I stand here—directly under my feet, spanning all five floors—what exactly do you think they’re showing?”

Miwa...

Namiki: “First, directly below us—feather quilts are on display.
On the second floor—full-length mirrors.
On the third floor—single-layer obi...
On the fourth floor... there must be something.
But you know—even though all those things are completely beyond our reach, when I stand here thinking I’m above them like this... unlike when seeing them right before my eyes... somehow it gives me this gaudy feeling.
We’re entirely free from any desire to possess them.
Funny, isn’t it?
The one back at my place seems to feel the same way.”

Miwa: “Well, maybe so. That’s precisely what they call *Kouzen no ki*—that vital energy from Mencian philosophy.”

Namiki: “I don’t know what sort of ‘energy’ this is, but it sure comes in handy. To put it bluntly—even with that single-layer obi business—she’s been pestering me since last summer, but there’s just no way. Women are such foolish creatures, I tell you. Since just looking should be enough, I say we look our fill and leave it at that. We look, then we come up here. That’s where the obi talk ends. Looks like summer’ll pass again this year without her ever trying to fasten that thing. Yet there she is—all cheerful—critiquing some other woman’s kimono.”

Miwa: “She has her good points.”
Namiki: “What good points?”
(Pointing with his chin toward the front) “Hey, do you know who that couple over there is?”

Miwa: “I don’t know.”

Namiki: “The son of Marquis Ōmura—the one famous for being a photography enthusiast…”

Miwa: “Ah… I see…
“That’s his wife…”

Namiki: “Probably a sham.”

Miwa: “When it comes to being a sham, no one can rival your wife.”

Namiki: “Stop trying to comfort me.
“I do understand a woman’s worth, you know.
“By the way, are you still living at your father’s house?”

Miwa: “No, I’ve moved out.
“Even so, it’s nearby—well, nearby at least.
“Why don’t you come visit?”

“Thank you,” said Namiki. “Now that things have come to this, it’s rather hard to visit, isn’t it? We can’t keep associating the way we used to, can we?”

Miwa retorted, “Who would ever say such a thing? I haven’t changed one bit.”

“It’s because I’m the one who’s changed,” Namiki replied. “Poverty has always been poverty, but when you go out into society, you start to see exactly where you stand.”

“You can’t go narrowing your own world like that,” Miwa countered. “As for me—I’ve been pushing through that point quite recklessly.”

“Is that so…”

A long silence.

“I might be overstepping here, but does your current position have any future prospects—as a job, I mean?”

“My job now—you see—eating *is* my job. There’s nothing else besides that.”

“But you *are* writing something, I suppose.”

“I’ve quit already.”
“What’s the point in writing trivial things when I know nobody will read them?”
“For a time, even someone like me dreamed of becoming a future literary master.”
“And there were those who’d flatter me...”
“It’s strange—you wouldn’t understand—but in that world, people cling to hopes that fortune might come tomorrow, like tree frogs on leaves waiting for rain, staring fixedly at one spot.”
“I was one of them too.”
“Back then, I wanted to at least pretend I could recognize merit in others’ work—to keep myself from losing heart.”
“That’s why such people end up propping each other up.”
“But after years of it, even I grew weary.”
“They grew weary too.”
“When we met, we avoided mentioning our own struggles.”
“And that was that.”
“Nothing more than looking at goods in shops and displays in windows—just looking.”

Miwa: “In that case, I’m no different. I haven’t done a single proper job.”

Namiki: “That’s a different matter altogether. But now, I don’t regret any of that anymore. I’ve settled where I belong, you know. I’d say we’re at rock bottom—but I alone fancy myself perched high above it all.”

Miwa: ….

“It’s not that I’m putting on some aloof front, you know,” said Namiki. “Just that I’ve steeled myself not to fuss over things too much—in relative terms.”

Miwa snorted. “So you’ve attained full enlightenment now?”

“If we’re being grandiose about it.” Namiki’s fingers brushed his hat brim. “You’ve been eyeing this since we met…”

“Don’t flatter yourself,” Miwa cut in. “That rag’s not worth a glance.”

“Look all you like.” Namiki tilted his head, sunlight catching the frayed felt. “Bought it years back. Wearing it doesn’t shame me anymore—no need for pretense.”

Miwa: “Isn’t that obvious? That’s an excuse unlike you. I’m glad to hear you confide in me, but I don’t need you putting on such unnecessary airs.”

Namiki: “I’m not putting on airs.”

Miwa: “If you’re not putting on airs, then what is it? Of course, it’s not that you’re being self-deprecating. As for me, Namiki…”

Namiki: “……You seem just fine as you are.”

Miwa: ….

Namiki: “Call me Namiki, like you used to…”

Miwa: “You’re being awfully fixated on this.”
“Look, Namiki—I hate to say this after finally meeting you again, but you’ve completely changed as a person. Just like you’ve been saying yourself.”
“It’s fine that you’ve changed, but why on earth do you have to put on airs like that with me?”
“There’s no need to be ashamed of poverty, but where’s the need to boast about it and strain yourself all alone?”
“Boasting about poverty seems to be fashionable these days—but even if you stay silent, such poverty is plain enough to see.”

Namiki (looks up at the other man’s face.
His eyes glint strangely.)

Miwa: “Do you think you’ve been insulted? I’m not yet so starved for pleasure that I’d take joy in insulting others. If you’ve got something to say, then say it. You probably had your reasons for naturally growing distant—but I, at least, intended to show unchanging friendship until the end.”

“Hey—don’t shout so loud.”

“I’ll raise my voice.”
“Can’t you hear my heart’s voice?”

Namiki: “I heard it.”

Miwa: “What did you hear?”
“Well then, will you have dinner with us today?”

Namiki: “I’ll eat.”
(Tears welling up)

A long silence.

“Your claim that the wealthy are sinners remains unchanged—but surely you haven’t grown so extreme in your thinking as to treat an old friend like an enemy.”
(Pause) “Besides, someone like me doesn’t even count among the wealthy class.”

A long silence.

Miwa: "What do you want to do? Being this dejected won't help."

Namiki: "I'm not dejected."

Miwa: "You might not be dejected, but you're clearly lacking energy. Oh right—how's your health holding up?"

Namiki: "Ah, that matter..."

Miwa: "That's good, right? In that regard, I'm the miserable one. I'm still just lying around all the time."

Namiki: "Neuralgia?"

Miwa: "And then, that matter..."

Namiki: "Ah.... Still not better?"

Miwa: "It's getting worse and worse."
Namiki: "You don't look that way to me."

“That’s precisely what’s wrong.”

Pause.

Namiki: “Shall we go down?”

Miwa: “Since it’d be troublesome if we missed each other, let’s wait a while longer. Should we sit down?”
(They looked for seats.)

Namiki: “Hey—it’s shameless of me to ask this after not seeing you for so long, but if it’s convenient… Could you lend me about twenty yen?”

Miwa (awkwardly glanced at the man’s face before reaching into his pocket): “Oh, sure.”
“I’ve got that much here.”
(He took out his wallet, pulled out some bills, and handed them to Namiki.)

Namiki: “Thank you.”
(He puts them straight into his sleeve.)

An oppressive silence.

“The wind’s died down,” said Miwa.

“You’re not upset, are you?” asked Namiki.

Miwa countered, “You’re the one letting that weigh on you, aren’t you? I’m truly glad we met today. It’s good we can still talk like we used to.”

“Hasn’t the mood cooled off some?”

“Say things like that and you’ll kill it entirely.”

“Maybe so…” Namiki’s voice trailed off. “No—I’m hopeless through and through.” He pulled the bills from his sleeve. “Here—take it back. Shouldn’t have done this… Can’t…”

“What are you talking about?”
“Why don’t you just return it whenever it’s convenient for you?”
“You probably have some shopping to do today.”
“You’re running a bit short on money.”
“I’ve had those kinds of things happen too.”
“There are times when I think if I’m lucky enough to meet a friend or something…”
“In times like that, you rarely end up meeting anyone.”
“However, you were lucky.”
“That’s all there is to it, isn’t it?”

“Such thoughts would never occur to someone like me.”

Miwa: “Oh, it’s fine—just keep it.”
“It’s not money I need right away, so you don’t have to rush to pay me back.”

Namiki (with a bitter smile): “Actually… I was thinking of buying my wife a single-layer obi…”

Miwa (laughing): “Your wife’s a fortunate woman.”
“I’ve got some extra money now—calling it a wedding gift for you both would be belated—so as a memento of renewing our old friendship today, let me give your wife a present from me.”
“In return, use this money to buy something for my wife.”

Namiki: “Your kindness is appreciated, but that just makes it harder on me.”
“I’ve gone and said unnecessary things, and it’s all become rather awkward, but please forgive me just this once.”
“Today was a complete failure.”
“I haven’t felt this miserable in recent times.”
I had always thought people survived through inertia, but never realized those living by constant rebellion could become so disoriented when they abruptly met empty space offering no resistance.
Everything I’d said since earlier—well, that too had just been a pack of lies my rebellious spirit made me spew out.
You probably weren’t unaware of such things, but having made such a big fuss and then parting ways like that would leave me feeling unsettled.

“Well now—you don’t have to take all the blame yourself,” said Miwa. “To someone like you, with more pride than most—even I get some credit for making you ask for a loan. Let me have that bit of conceit. Shouldn’t we sort this out before they come back?”

Namiki: “No—that above all else, I refuse.”
“Today, I refuse.”
“Keep this as well.”
“It’s all a fresh start.”
“Let’s meet again in five years.”
“I might have become a bit more of a human being.”

“Still as stubborn as ever, I see.”
“Then have it your way.”
(Accepts the money.)

Miwa’s wife and Namiki’s wife returned together.

“It took quite a while, didn’t it? I couldn’t find any patterns I liked. I had Madam look at them too, but… our tastes are simply worlds apart.”

“This is in poor taste, you see.”

“No—that isn’t the case at all,” said Miwa’s Wife. “Well now,” she continued, glancing at her husband, “if I had to choose, I suppose I favor stylish tastes—though it’s rather odd to say so myself—but then Madam here prefers such refined things…”

“Oh my,” protested Namiki’s Wife, “I… refined? That’s hardly…”

“No—it does indeed seem to be the case,” said Miwa. “So you gave up?”

“At any rate, I’ve decided on one, but whether it will please you…”
“If you could just take a look at it once…”
“It’s perfectly fine.”
“If it’s no good, I can exchange it again—just look at it properly at home… okay?”
“Rather than that, we looked at a single-layer obi together, you know.”
“Because Madam here said she wanted to see it….”
“There was one that suited you perfectly, you know.”
“(To Namiki’s wife) Why didn’t you choose that one?”

Miwa: “You can’t just decide things unilaterally like this.”
Miwa’s Wife: “Oh but…”
Miwa: “Come now—let’s depart.”
“You two have no further business here?”
“(To his wife) Then where shall we—”
Namiki: “Ah—we actually have another engagement today.”
“(To Miwa’s wife) Though it pains me—perhaps next time…”

“Oh, please don’t say such things…”
“Is that acceptable, Madam…?”

“I just remembered.”
This was getting complicated…
He truly needed forgiveness today.

“Then I shouldn’t force you to stay.”
“Well… in due time…”

Namiki’s Wife: (Silently bowed slightly.)

Miwa’s Wife: “Oh, what a shame…”
“Well then—though our place is rather shabby—you must visit us soon…”
“And please do come together.”

“Goodbye.”

The Miwa couple left.

Namiki’s Wife: “What did you do…?”

Namiki: “I didn’t do anything at all.”
“The underrobe sleeve—there was one.”

“That—there was one,” said Namiki’s wife. “But it was so frustrating—when I tried to buy a cheaper one, Mrs. Miwa would pipe up right beside me, insisting this one was better, and pick out a more expensive one….”

Namiki remained silent.

Namiki’s Wife: “Those people seem to have so much.”

Namiki: …..

“I bought a lovely gold brocade.”

“What’s gold brocade supposed to be?”

“It’s started, hasn’t it?”
“(Pause) Where are we stopping now…?”

Namiki: …..

“Single-layer obis… you know, their prices have dropped quite a bit now… but I wonder if we could manage it…”

Namiki: “Hardly anyone wears single-layer obis anymore—not even Miwa’s wife…”

Namiki’s Wife: “That’s right—a *ro maru obi*.”

Namiki: “What’s a *ro maru obi*?”

“That’s why I’m not saying I want it.”

“It’s fine if you said you wanted it.”
“It’s because we can’t afford it anyway, isn’t it?”

Namiki: “You idiot.”
“Did you have to say that?”
“If you hold back just one bite at a time, you’ll only seem clever for that single bite.”

Namiki’s Wife: (Dumbfounded, gazes at her husband’s face)

Namiki: “Ugh, whenever I come to a place like this once in a while, I end up running into unnecessary people.”

Namiki’s Wife: “Unnecessary people… But they didn’t seem so bad.”
“But… didn’t something happen while we were away?”
“Now that you mention it… their greeting did feel a bit odd.”
“At first, they were much more familiar in tone…”

“That’s not true.”
“Same as always.”
“(Pause) He had the nerve to ask what I’m doing now.”

“What did you say?”

Namiki: “I told him I’m at a bookstore.”
Namiki’s Wife: “He didn’t even ask which bookstore it was?”

Namiki: He didn't ask.
"He has no interest in that sort of thing."
"But he did ask about you."

Namiki's Wife: What about me?

Namiki: Where you went to school or something...
"And he praised you till it felt creepy."

Namiki's Wife: What?

Namiki: All sorts of things.
"That reminds me—he's got some nerve."
"If you need money,' he had the gall to say I should tell him anytime."

“Oh…”
“But you’ve already figured it out, haven’t you?”

“Who says such a thing when meeting after so long?”
“I yelled at him—‘Quit your nonsense!’”

“Stop it—he went out of his way to be kind…”
“So you refused when he suggested we eat together?”

“Right.”
(Pause) Should I borrow money from that guy and use it to buy a single-layer obi?

“You could do it… that…”

“I can do it—if I decide to…”

“That’s a lie…”

“Why?”
“Why can’t I?”

“I don’t want you having to do something like that… No matter what…”

Namiki: (Seriously) "I'll do it... if it's for you."

Namiki’s Wife: (Solemnly) "Just hearing you say that means everything... (suddenly changing tone) Listen—you must promise not to overextend yourself."
"I've grown frightened somehow."

Namiki: ….

Namiki’s Wife: “When I imagine you feeling ashamed before those friends—over such matters—I can’t sit still.”

Namiki: “So I won’t mention anything of the sort…
But if they…”

Namiki’s Wife: “Ah, I understand that.
So when that happens, please refuse them outright…
Just don’t let them take offense.”
(Pause) “From now on, I’ll never say I want anything again.”

“That’s a different matter altogether,” said Namiki. “If we can manage it, isn’t that fine?”

“No—that’s exactly why I’m saying you must at least keep proper relations with friends,” his wife countered. “So you never have to humble yourself, no matter what…”

“You don’t need to worry about that.”

“But I do worry… I…” Her voice faltered. “Really—until now, I hadn’t noticed… that one thing…”

Namiki remained silent.

“And you—” she pressed, urgency sharpening her tone— “don’t keep idling around forever. Start working properly soon.” A brittle laugh escaped her. “Even if money comes in this time—no single-layer obis or anything. Let’s save every bit we can.”

Namiki: “That’s strange—you suddenly bringing up something like that…”

Namiki’s Wife: (Tearing up) “That’s right… There must be some reason… But… but… you’re losing all your good friends… aren’t you…?”

(Suddenly buried her face in her husband’s chest and wept.)

――Curtain――