Pathway to Japanese Literature

I

Now that they had come this far, there was no longer any fear of being discovered. They had fled from everything. From every obstacle, from every oppression, from every pain. Having thought this, K fixedly gazed at his surroundings. The mountain stream flowing swiftly was the first thing that caught his eye. Though it wasn’t particularly remarkable, here and there were rocks where summer visitors fished for ayu, their new wide-brimmed straw hats glinting in the sun atop them—this was what had been pointed out as such. On the temporary bridge leading from here to the town across the way, bicycles and cars passed now and then.

K stared fixedly at a section of the mountain stream where the water shattered like glass and flowed white, yet within himself he ceaselessly felt the Woman’s presence with piercing clarity. The Woman—the Woman he had at last made his own, the Woman he had dragged through tempests to bring here—the Woman’s heart, the Woman’s flesh, the Woman’s brows, the Woman’s lips. “Ahh, ahh...”

Unintentionally uttering this, K heaved a labored sigh. There was no longer any recourse. They had to follow through to the end. He remembered how their tears had soaked the bedding again the previous night. He remembered how they had needed to hold each other even to stem those tears. It had unfolded as if of its own volition. Less something they shaped than something that had taken shape. The consequence of being pressed from both sides was that matters could only have turned out thus. It was as though they had traversed an ever-narrowing path together until finally reaching this point. And what lay beyond? What awaited?

“Death!”

K stared fixedly at it. He stared at that word.

He felt as though he had touched cold ice or a sharp blade. In contrast to such internal visions, his surroundings were peaceful, carefree, and quiet. The water flowed swiftly with a pleasant musical sound. Mountains stretched into the distance, white clouds trailing here and there from this bank to the other. Suddenly he sensed light footsteps behind him. He sensed the rustling motion of a half-undone obi. He sensed her face—more pallid than white—with acute clarity. Then came the faint breath of the Woman drawing quietly near.

II

But they weren’t always so tense. Yesterday afternoon, the two of them had lined up chairs there and were looking outside. It was apparently the annual holiday of the Automobile Association or something like that, and beautifully decorated cars kept passing by in front of them one after another. Now and then, the sound of fireworks being launched echoed from somewhere. “Where could it be? The ones setting off those fireworks—could it be?” “Well... I suppose it’s somewhere in the back?”

“It’s lively, isn’t it?” The Woman said this, but without pause, she stood and walked down the long corridor toward the far end. The far end of the corridor was a window, through which the area behind seemed to stretch out in a single sweeping view—the Woman, her slim, willowy figure half-leaning against it, stood gazing intently for a time before quietly retracing her steps down the long corridor back toward this side.

“Do come and see—” she said, inviting K. “There isn’t anything particularly different, is there?” “But they’ve set up all sorts of things here.” “They’ve even built a stage and everything.” “Did they really build such things?” “Apparently, over there, the geishas from this town will be performing Tokiwazu or Kiyomoto.” “They’re transporting all sorts of things.” “Oh?” And so, just like that, the two of them lined up side by side and walked all the way down the long corridor to its end.

“Oh! So the stage really is completely set up, isn’t it?”

“Yes, that’s right. Quite a grand setup, isn’t it? Look—that car brought all sorts of things.” A car that had laboriously climbed up the bumpy road unloaded countless chairs, tables, stools, and such there. “So they’re setting up spectator seating?” “That’s right.” “They’re doing it tonight, right?” “That seems to be the case.”

Beside the large tent, three or four geishas stood clustered together in splendid attire. As a maid passed by there, K seized the opportunity— “This is quite the grand festival, isn’t it?” “Oh—” The maid stopped there too. “Are they doing it tonight?” “That is likely the case.” “Shall I go take a look?”

“I hear tonight is supposed to be quite lively. “Geishas from K Town will also apparently come—”

“Is the one standing over there a geisha from here?” The maid had been staring intently, but,

“That is correct. The one standing over there is Kimiyakko—the most renowned geisha here—” “—” A man in work clothes was busily driving stakes into the ground. No sooner had a deafening sound split the air than a yellow willow-like firework burst open in the sky above.

“Are they setting them off in a place like that?”

The Woman went off abruptly like this.

“Where?”

“Look, over there?” “At the base of the mountain, where we came from—look, there’s a spot along the lawn, right?” “That spot here?” “Ah, I see—” Sure enough, a single small cylinder stood erected there, with five or six people clustered darkly around it visible as such. Another deafening sound tore through the air. This time, a crackling like roasting beans pattered across the sky, from which one, two, three small red balloons came floating out—light and drifting.

K and the Woman gazed fixedly at the small red balloons drifting lightly through the air as they descended, as if utterly free from distracting thoughts. Yet this too lasted only a brief moment. By the time the two walked side by side back down that long corridor toward their room, the dark shadow in their hearts had already completely filled their chests. The Woman resumed her seat opposite K as before, but they merely exchanged glances without uttering a word.

III

And yet how did we ever come to enter this mountain-ensconced hot spring town! K thought. It was certain no one would notice and come searching all the way here; moreover, even if they mobilized police forces for a systematic search—even if their reach extended along that main railway line—it remained perfectly clear there was no risk of them penetrating this far. K retraced how they had reached T Station beneath the great mountain on that main line before abruptly altering course toward here. At that time—the train had stopped there for ten minutes. Suddenly he addressed her: “Let’s go to M Hot Spring!” The Woman responded anxiously: “But do you know that hot spring? Wouldn’t venturing into some strange place just create more complications?” She looked up at his face as she spoke.

To die, any place would do. Just a day or two of quiet rest was all I wanted. ｟To die calmly and composedly...｠ Yet without voicing that thought aloud, K transferred to the small railcar waiting on the opposite side.

The small railcar advanced, clattering violently as it shook, half along the mountainside and half through open fields. They looked back longingly at the main railway line they had left—the line they had traveled straight along for a day and a night without catching anyone’s eye. They were struck by an indescribable loneliness. They looked around at their surroundings.

The fact that all the passengers in the train car had changed made them feel lonelier than ever. Even if they weren’t recognized as runaway lovers, being stared at so intently—as if they were some different breed of human—inevitably stirred a vague unease within them. Both K and the Woman tried to keep their eyes fixed on the fields and mountains beyond the window—avoiding any glances at people’s faces—as K mentally retraced how they’d come all the way to this terminal station of the small railcar. But fortunately, right outside that station entrance waited a shared bus bound for M Hot Spring, perfectly synchronized with the train schedule to receive its passengers.

And so, K and the Woman passed effortlessly—sometimes through rural villages, sometimes across fields backed by great mountains, other times over bridges spanning murmuring ravines—gradually making their way deeper into the mountains. While gazing at the ceaselessly winding mountain stream to their right, they finally arrived there—to that final land—.

The large bathhouse was a three-story structure, and beginning with the young proprietress, all the clerks had gathered together to politely welcome them. Unaware that they were such runaway lovers— Unaware that they were transgressors who must be subjected to every manner of whipping—. Unaware that they were a pair who could not foresee what manner of trouble they might cause those people—. At first, the maid guided them to the large fifteen-mat room on the right side of the third floor. However, that single room was excessively spacious. It was also too bright. The large corridors stretching on both sides were also too open.

“Wouldn’t a narrower one be better? Something like six or eight tatami mats would be better?” When K said this, the maid, without saying anything further, guided them to their current room at the far corner of the third floor.

After the maid had gone downstairs, the Woman let out a deep sigh. “What’s the matter?”

“…………”

The Woman said nothing and let out another deep sigh.

Indeed, they felt a pressing emotion that they could not put into words. A feeling of not knowing what to do. A feeling that the place they had gone to such lengths to reach seemed to be a painful and distressing one. A feeling that if possible, they wanted to embrace each other and cry out loud to their hearts’ content. They had already imagined this situation many, many times over. What would become of us if we ended up in such circumstances? they had wondered again and again. Yet at those times when they had thought this way, vivid fantasies akin to beautiful poetry had accompanied them—even if sorrowful or bitter, there had been some solace of beauty there, something they believed would fully console them. But now that they had actually come here, they felt it was all fantasy; instead of beauty’s comfort, a cold blade-like feeling pressed tightly against their chests, gathering until it choked them.

K looked around the area. The fact that there was only one way in and out was extremely convenient. “Here, we likely won’t be suspected. We can calmly face our fate…” he thought. ‘I’m sorry to your wife and child’—this phrase, which had left her lips countless times before, had never made her cry as powerfully as it did that night. Tears and voice fell together. It could well be said that two souls were utterly drenched in tears. “Isn’t it fine? Aren’t we already bound together?” “Even I… am sorry to your husband…” “I’m truly sorry.” “So we seek to atone through our shared destiny.” “Let’s stop dwelling on this now.” “From now on, let us truly become one.” “Let us be alone—no one else around.” “Just us two—” “You are my O-toku… I am your K…” “Right? Isn’t this good?” Having said this, he embraced her. The Woman sobbed.

The sound of the same mountain stream’s rapids threaded through those tears and sobs.

IV

At dawn, K quietly got up and went down to the bathhouse.

The sound of the valley rang sharply, and the faintly pale dawn air peered quietly through the window that descended to the second floor. The corridor was dimly lit.

He felt that following their destiny was not such a difficult thing. This faintly white dawn air, this quiet air that called to mind the other world—if led by it, it did not seem like such a sorrowful thing after all. That tear-soaked bed from last night, those two bodies clinging desperately to each other, the sorrow of never truly becoming one—even that sorrow alone made them feel they could effortlessly follow their destined path.

He quietly descended the stairs and, like a shadow, entered the bathtub that seemed deeply sunken into the floor. There was no one there. It was as if he had come to the afterlife—there was no one. Crystal-clear water like jewels overflowed from the marble bathtub. He sank motionlessly deep into it.

V The public bathhouse operated in the town was located across that bridge, then a short walk from the town toward the mountains, but unlike those typically seen at hot spring resorts, it was an extremely fashionable and modern facility. It seemed to have drawn inspiration from bathhouses such as those in Germany’s Baden-Baden.

K found himself there with the woman. It was around eleven o’clock in the morning on the day after their arrival. They had come after asking the inn’s maid. He paid the set amount to the entrance maid, requested exclusive use of the wet bathroom, and waited in the second-floor dry bathroom until preparations were complete. There stood a large ceramic cylinder designed for solitary inhalation of dry radium emanation. The two sat facing each other in chairs, remaining perfectly still and silent. On the table sat a potted Canna flower whose venomous red hue harshly irritated their eyes.

In contrast to the Woman remaining perfectly still, K stood up and sat down restlessly as if unable to settle his mind. When he went to the window, he leaned against it as if contemplating falling to his death and peered down deeply. At that moment, the maid from the entrance came up and announced that the wet bathroom had been prepared for their exclusive use.

VI

Even in the faintly white morning air, K felt that dying would not be difficult, but there he could immerse himself even more deeply in that state of mind.

He felt a strange sensation. Could this be the pleasure of the world? Is this the pleasure ordinary people living in this world are constantly immersed in? He could not see it that way. Precisely because they faced that fate, precisely because they bore that sorrow, precisely because they were steeped in those tears—it was through these that such a strange joy could be savored, a psychological state that under ordinary circumstances could never have arisen. And yet, what manner of existence could this be? And what manner of embrace could this be?

The Woman too, as if indeed feeling awkward and as if struck by an unforeseen reality, did not respond to K’s suggestion that they walk through the town, instead saying, “Then I’ll return a step ahead…”, then opened her pale blue parasol and hurriedly made her way out along the narrow path toward the riverbank.

Since K too had no desire to walk through the town alone, he started to go but stopped, then simply followed after the woman and headed out toward the river.

The midday July sunlight nearing noon blazed fiercely, illuminating everything—the mountain stream’s flow, the rocks, the houses, the shadows of passersby, the distant mountains—all glowing with the vivid brilliance of a pointillist painting. But when K saw the woman’s figure walking ahead on the bridge, about eighteen meters away from him, he could not help feeling a depth of attachment unlike anything he had ever known. The fact that the woman had shown such attachment for his sake was something K could not put into words. He certainly felt as if he had seen two souls become one and soar through the sky.

He carefully maintained a certain distance as he walked behind her so that the Woman would not notice him doing so. K walked slowly, his gaze fixed on the Woman’s small white bare feet moving with relative swiftness through the glittering light, the hem of her yukata seeming to tangle around them as she went. K reached the middle of the bridge and suddenly stopped. He felt a slight dizziness that came with fatigue.

VII That afternoon, K and the Woman lay napping in a state of utter exhaustion. Though they were not lying side by side, the maid who entered to collect soiled tea utensils saw the woman in one corner and the man by the open window on the opposite side—both fast asleep, unaware of anything, even of the sunset drawing near. The woman lay with her pale face turned to the right, breathing peacefully in sleep, while the man slept with his mouth slackly open, oily sweat beading on his forehead as he snored in utter exhaustion.

Sleeping so soundly—

With this thought, the maid left the room.

At least one or two hours had passed. The western sun already streamed in quite deeply. The sound of water murmured quietly and ceaselessly. The other portly maid, as usual, came up with light footsteps and lowered the sunshade meant to block the western sun with a thud. And so, the room grew somewhat dimmer, and the forms of the two sleeping within began to cast distinct shadows in that space.

When the portly maid came downstairs, the other maid seized the opportunity,

“Were the guests in room three still sleeping?”

“Yeah.” “Even if you went in, they didn’t notice?”

“Yeah.”

“Well aren’t they heavy sleepers? Both sleeping like they’re stone dead? It’s already four o’clock, you know. Must be worn clean out, huh?” “Oh now, that’s nasty—” The portly maid gave a queer laugh. “But ain’t it so? Rare to see folk sleep that deep… Could march right in and they’d never stir… Lord it’s hot.” “That’s what comes from thinking such thoughts.” “Sleep all day then wide awake nights. Didn’t you say last night you heard voices going over there till all hours?”

The portly maid whispered, “They aren’t married, are they?” “Do you think so?”

“Certainly that’s how it is… But then again, if they were geishas, that’s too plain. There must be some reason behind it.” “Do you think so?” “That sort of thing is exactly why you have to be careful.” “Do you think so—”

The two on the third floor awoke one after another from their deep slumber only after another hour had passed. K was the first to rouse himself as though some dream had bewitched him. Next, the Woman widened her eyes as though startled. In the quiet evening air, the sighs of the two were heard distinctly.

VIII

“You shouldn’t say such things anymore. You shouldn’t think about them either.” “…………”

In most cases, the Woman remained silent. Instead, tears streamed from her eyes. K feared those tears. He feared those tears—tears that seemed to lay bare every demand, that even now brought death pressing closer with each passing moment. There was nothing more they could do. They silently leaned against the corridor chairs. They silently went to a corner of the room and sat down. Once again they strolled silently along the riverbank, keeping a distance of one or two ken. They could no longer part even if they wished to. Yet they could no longer voice the depths of their hearts to each other. Gradually they could no longer endure this silence—this mere exchange of glances, K gazing at the Woman's tear-streaked face while she peered at his sorrowful expression. They could no longer endure this dark probing into each other's innermost depths. K stared fixedly at the distant mountain with vacant eyes.

To distract themselves from the torment of their silence—the agony of two hearts that should be one—they crossed that rickety bridge and went to the public bathhouse on the opposite bank. There, they paid the portly maid to prepare the wet bathroom. Gradually, the Woman’s eyes too began staring intently in their direction.

At times, they found there were two or even three other groups besides themselves who had requested preparation of the bathroom. Such people all went up to the second floor, where they leaned against chairs or cushions and waited for the preparations to be completed. Indeed, among them was a beautiful woman of about twenty-five or twenty-six who appeared to be a geisha. “You won’t find facilities like these at other hot springs.” “That’s true—”

“They say this hot spring suddenly gained popularity because it has this.” “That must be the case.” “And they say installing this equipment cost a considerable amount of money—” “So does this radium actually work?” From nearby, a young man who looked like a gentleman said in Kansai dialect.

“It’s quite effective, you know—” The woman in her thirties sitting across the room said with a faint smile, half in jest.

What carefree hearts they must have. What carefree conversation that was. And there are people living like that. There are also those who live half in fun. Compared to that, what of them? What of them, who must die no matter what? What of them, who could do nothing but follow such a fate and wander like this?

“Today—today at last—” What of those who always came here thinking this? Earlier, before coming here, K had seen the Woman take out a razor from her cloth bag—What are you doing bringing that along? When he made a face as if to say that, the Woman explained, “But my face has gotten all dirty,” and recalled having placed it inside her cosmetic case. That’s it! It’s there. Today—today at last— Thus K’s mind grew taut with tension.

“It’s taking quite some time，isn’t it?” “After all，it’s a full house today，you know.” “There are three groups，you know—”

The portly man laughed heartily at everyone with an air of forced camaraderie after speaking. "Yes, well... It might take some time yet." The tall man across the room remarked. The woman from earlier joined in laughing.

There, a maid from the public bathhouse came to inform them that the preparations were ready.

The corridor—a long corridor reminiscent of those in courthouses—began to come into view, stretching endlessly with doors numbered Room 1, Room 2 and onward lining one side, each bearing its own door. The bathhouse maid used a large key to unlock each room’s lock and methodically ushered the groups inside one after another.

“This is first-rate—”

Somewhere, a voice like that was heard. The maids' laughter too was heard.

The room that K and the Woman entered remained unchanged from before. Nothing about it had altered. In the undressing area stood a small clothes rack bearing a fresh hand towel. On this low platform sat a dressing table with a small box beneath it containing a comb and scissors. Afternoon sunlight streamed through the high window in slender shafts. Swish—swish—swish—swish—the sounds soon swelled into a fierce roar. It was the hot water beginning to cascade down the grooved wall in a solid sheet. Steam would soon billow up to fill the space. White mist would engulf their surroundings.

The sound of hot water cascading down that wall evoked within their hearts a mysterious wonder like music from the netherworld. Before long, K and the Woman immersed themselves in the faintly white radium steam. They felt their fate drawing ever closer to them.