Pathway to Japanese Literature

The actor portraying Male Actor Kō

The actress portraying Female Actress Otsu

The stage was a lounge of a certain hotel in Kobe.

A man and a woman are facing each other across a tea table.

Male Actor Kō: (Exhales a large cloud of cigarette smoke)

At last, the day ended.

On that ship, they’re probably ringing the dinner bell already.

When lights began to appear across the islands of the Seto Inland Sea,
the hearts of those leaving Japan
were constricted all at once.
Female Actress Otsu: (While gazing into the distance)

“But he was on the deck…
He was laughing so heartily.”

“I was only looking at your face.”

“The sight of you weeping—”

“I wanted to see it for myself once.”

The woman—poor thing…

The sea breeze stung her eyes,

Perhaps they appeared somewhat teary.

And then—that dazzling glare of the sea—

Even keeping her eyes open was painful enough.

Would I cry?
That’s not…

When his tape cut off,

“You took out a handkerchief from your sleeve—”

Neither waving nor refraining from movement,

she was fiddling with it near her shoulder.

Even that person—

with his hat still off—

was just staring this way…

“Look at the other people seeing them off.”

“Among the women,”

“The one who wasn’t crying was”

“practically you alone.”

“What people would call ‘a samurai’s wife’—”

“In the old days they’d have admired that conduct, but...”

“Nowadays everything’s”

“gone Western-style.”

“You especially—”

“Among our comrades’ wives—”

“you’re known as a modern woman.”

At the signal for the well-wishers to disembark,

Tearfully,

Even if she were kissed farewell by her husband,
she didn’t find it strange in the least.

“At that moment—
I was thinking these very thoughts.”

—Well, now I’ve finally become free.

For three years, I could live without reserve toward anyone.
I could spread my wings as I pleased.
Even if I went out,
Without the bother of returning home to prepare dinner.

Even when I bought a single obi,
there was no hassle of having to consult anyone.
That ship—
due to some malfunction,

I just hope he doesn’t have to turn back again…

“If you say such things,”
“I’ll write and tell him.”
“—Your wife is unconscionable.”
“Lonely and alone—”
“When I think he’s waiting for your return—”
“That itself _is_ a great mistake.”

At that rate,

There’s no telling what he might do…….

“If you do that,”

“First of all, it’s only you who’ll be thought strange. Among the men, the foremost among those close to me—the one who speaks to me so familiarly—it’s you, after all.”

Today, before the ship departs,

In a way you couldn't hear,

"I said it like this,"

—"I'm returning to Tokyo tonight…"

"How does that prove anything?"

Now that you mention it,

At that time, Mr.—

He called me to the corner of the smoking room

He said to me, ‘Please look after my wife,’ you know.

Having traveled all the way to Kōbe to see him off

“As his sole friend—having come all this way to Kōbe—I should at least be trusted that much. Madam… You—is there truly nothing amiss?”

To tell the truth—

I—today—
had intended to fulfill a certain grave duty—

Fervently resolved,

I went out to that pier.

Belching black smoke,

majestically

the Fushimimaru waiting for its departure time’s

That white cabin in the back

the figures of the two of you

The moment I suddenly caught sight—
I had already—
My throat choked up.

I couldn’t even manage a greeting like “Ah…”.

That is

to behold in this world

one of the most tragic sights.

I—

With a manner so clumsy that even I found it laughable,

I grasped the professor's hand.

And then—

To you,

I offered a rather ambiguous compliment.

Female Actress: (Laughing)
“How about… we also go to Germany together…”

“How about… we go to Germany together…”

“Please don’t laugh so much.”

“I am also a soldier.”

“Even clad in these merchant’s garb,

I’ve not unarmed my heart’s defenses.

In your eyes—

The deeper I read those shades of sorrow—”

I—
within myself—
should have felt a cold power.
And what do I find?

Brighter than usual—

Even calmer than usual—
Your attitude was.
The one who became flustered was me.

“The unfulfilled one is me,” you said.
“As you’ve surmised…”
And so—

I—

I—intending for you to hear—
searched for words brimming with emotion
to send off an intimate companion.

I searched for words brimming with emotion.

"What did you say?"

“I...”
“I wasn’t listening.”

“Fine.”

Even if I were to say that now—

because it would amount to nothing—

I resolved not to repeat it.

In any case, I—

until the ship disappeared from view

I stood alone

"I stood on the pier."

"You—" her voice sharpened like fractured crystal—"who told you I'm staying here? From whom did you learn such things?"

"I knew last night," he replied, military stiffness returning to his posture, "that you'd taken lodging at this hotel."

“You’re quite the slippery one.”

“You too
are departing tonight, aren’t you?”

“This man will obey your instructions.”

“Shall we dine together this evening?”

“This man finds himself blessed beyond expectation.”

A long silence.

Female Actress: "The thing called becoming free and—
"The thing called being left all alone and—

“Somehow... it feels different, you know.”

"That differs, does it not?"

“Every day with that person—”

“When I spent every day face to face with that person—”

The fantasy of becoming free—

Even though it had been such a joyful thing,

Now that I found myself alone like this,

“Freedom...

...is unexpectedly hollow.”

Kō………….

"From now on—
"Even if I return to Tokyo,
There’s no helping it…
But even so,

Even staying here like this...
What could possibly come?
There’s nothing left to reach for anymore.

Kō………….

Female Actress: “Because you smoke so much…” (saying this, she takes out a handkerchief from her sleeve and presses it to her eyes)

How rude of me….
(Stubs out cigarette in ashtray)

My face—

“I don’t want you to look now.”

Male Actor (with a smile): “I’m covering my ears.”

“Oh!”

“What a rude thing to say!”
(This voice was indeed trembling.)

When I returned from Europe...
On the ship, alone—

There was a young Japanese lady aboard.
When the ship approached the Suez Canal,
what was making her sad—
she would go out on deck and cry.
Surely not—in that hollyhock-colored sky,
surely not—it couldn’t have been because she saw a green star shining.

No one tried to ask the reason for that.

Female Actress: “That’s just fine.”

Male Actor (lowering his voice):
“Hey!”
“I’m done—I can’t take this anymore.”
“To go on…”

Female Actress (raises her face in surprise but does so nonchalantly)

“Don’t—if you start saying such things…”

(Once more wiped her eyes with the handkerchief)

“Hurry up.”

What was wrong…?

Male Actor (suddenly stands up)

"Such a role!"

"Who would ever play it?!"

Female Actress (pleadingly looks up at Male Actor’s face)

Male Actor (as if mimicking someone’s voice):
“Madam.”

That was the truth.

However, if she kept crying...

(Suddenly changed his tone)

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Seriously—"

"Who could possibly utter such drivel?"

“Wait—”
“What do you mean by that?”
“You…”

“What difference does it make either way?”

You’re the one acting all composed, but your counterpart here is left humiliated! Even if I’m not truly sad, unless I immerse myself in weeping after parting from my husband, this whole affair feels unbearably hollow.

You’re acting all composed in your performance, but—

“You’re putting on an act—”
As for me—your counterpart—
What a farce.

In truth,
I'm not sad,
But after parting from my husband,
Unless I make myself feel like weeping deeply,
It's just too—
Too empty—that's what I tell myself.

Unaware of this, this I—he seized the moment there to console her. While consoling her, I too was growing uncharacteristically somber.

Since rehearsal—
I haven’t felt motivated here.
I—up until now—
no matter what bit part—

I have never complained.

The role of being dumped by a woman—
It’s not that I object to the role.
being so deftly swept along—

It’s absurd.

At this moment, a voice from backstage called out, “Lower the curtain!”

Female Actress (In a loud voice)

"Wait…"

(To the Male Actor)
"But that's—"
"This isn't part of the play."
"Do look now."
"The audience—"
"The audience sits dumbstruck."

“Well…”

“Let us continue――”

“Yes, I am aware of that.”

“But still...the tears keep flowing.”

“I implore you—”

“Just a moment longer...”

“Please—let me be...”（Sobs）

Male Actor (Turns away)

“Tsk!”

(Approaches the audience seats)

“Ladies and gentlemen, please listen.”

At this moment, the curtain suddenly fell.
However, the man swiftly stepped in front of the curtain.

“Ladies and gentlemen.”
“I cannot continue playing this role in the play.”

"I cannot continue playing this role in the play."

“Please forgive me.”

Since I have raised such an uproar,

I

will unquestionably be driven out of this company.

It could not be helped.

The woman appeared from within the curtain pulled at the man’s sleeve and motioned for him to enter inside.

“No—”
“Let me—”
“Let me say what I need to say.”

"I, as an actor,
will not hesitate to portray any character—
I am resolved to take on every role."

“However, one thing—
I refuse to play the role of becoming a woman’s toy.
And even—”

"Even if I’m fully aware of it myself—if it’s a role where I’m made into a toy, I don’t mind."

"For example,

'Amano from *The Autumn of Tyrol*'

is precisely that sort of role."

However,

this time’s script—

from start to finish—

has men

being manipulated by women!

The playwright—for all their airs—

might think they’ve concocted something creative here,

“With the playwright’s utterly uninteresting creativity,”

“Especially,
for an actor playing a man,
acting in the play feels utterly idiotic.”

“Up until now...”

“Up until now, it’s still acceptable…”

At this moment, a man who appeared to be the stage director barked from behind the curtain, “Hey! If you’re done complaining, stop!”

Male Actor: I—

“I will make my responsibility clear.”

"Up to this point, it's still tolerable... What comes next is unbearable. Considering the effort you've all made to come watch this play, ladies and gentlemen—I feel compelled to voice my grievances. I shall state my complaints." (After a brief pause)

This woman—

“Just leave me alone…”
she says thus.

At that point, I—
“—I don’t mind your crying,”
“but do consider that I’m right here beside you—”

“Please at least consider that.”

WOMAN: (earnestly, intending to tell a white lie)
“Truly… I’m terribly sorry for showing you such an unsightly spectacle.”

“To have shown you such a place…
I’m so sorry, you know.”

After all…

Even if I say such lofty things,

I am a woman…

MAN: (in a mechanical recitation)
"Such modesty on your part is unnecessary.
Only, while your husband is away,
even a man like me,
if I can be of your assistance,
that is all I think."

WOMAN: "Well, that's already...
Who else could I—
Since I have no one else to consult—
Only you—
You may never realize just how much~ I rely on you."

"Thank you."

A long silence—so to speak.

WOMAN: “What time is it now?”
MAN: “That part—”
“Let’s skip it.”

“Oh…”

“I... this part—”
“I really like this part, you know.”

MAN: While carrying on like this—

Finally, I—
It comes to pass that I love the woman.
The trite confession began.

The woman listens to that absentmindedly.

She listens absentmindedly.

And then—

“You’ve become quite bold, haven’t you.”

“Earlier, when I cried—”

“You—”

“In such a way—”
“You’ve interpreted it that way.”

“MAN: This is where it begins.”

That I become a miserable man…

“The woman says such things—”
“You—”

“I just don’t fully understand the script.”
“Why—”
“But—”

“I—”
“Women are far more—”
I think we’re miserable.
“Didn’t you say that yourself, Mr.—?”
“—This is supposed to be the tragedy of a woman who doesn’t know how to love.”
“Man: If you mean it in that sense—”

This—
a comedy of a man fishing for love—
couldn’t you call it that?

If it’s a comedy，then let it be a comedy.
The playwright—
—was sneering at this character.
I—no matter what I said—

It’s that attitude I can’t stand.

“A woman… such things…”

“That’s not something an actor should say.”

All men—there was a time when everyone thought that way.

There was indeed such an era.

Actors are human too.
The character I portray—
Even if a fool—
Even a madman would do.
Thief,
Murderer,
Usurer,

City council member,

That could be anything at all.

But there was one thing—

something that appealed to the audience's sympathy—

it had to possess that.

“WOMAN: I’m leaving now.”

MAN: (Grabbing the woman’s hand)
“Wait.
I—
I don’t want to withdraw like this.
This is probably…
my final stage.
Become my quiet listener
for this splendid monologue.”

Now then,

The motive for which I became an actor—

“Do you know?”

“………….”

That was certainly when I was twenty-two.

In some magazine,

Kachiyarofu’s portrayal of

I saw a photograph of Hamlet.

I promptly

I threw on a student cloak.
I faced the mirror.
I tried to immerse myself in Hamlet’s emotions.
This melancholy prince
Eventually,

I left school.

And then—first—I read Antoine’s Théâtre Libre memoirs; nibbled at Gordon Craig’s theories of drama; applied to become an apprentice at the Shingekidan Goshikiza troupe; and after that drifted from place to place...

I fluttered into this troupe.

The curtain rises quietly.
The two do not notice it.

Have I truly—

Have I found my own path?

Have I truly

Have I found my own home?

No.

They were all—
Dilettantes?
If not, then merchants.
The light of art I sought

Absolutely

The light did not shine through their rehearsal space’s window.
Then why—
Why don’t I leave this place?

It’s because you’re here.
It’s true.
It’s because you’re here.

(Pause)

I, now, here—
I declare without reservation—
What I have sought until now—

not that Muse,
but in truth,
merely that it was this Venus…

“Playwright!”

“Please change my role for me.”

“Please rewrite this script.”

I didn’t mind if I ultimately witnessed a hollow outcome.

At least let me grasp the other’s heart...

“Let me read it now.”

I refused to be deceived.

I refused to be manipulated.

“That hurts! Don’t shake me so hard…”
“Then—”
“Answer me.”

“Answer me on behalf of the playwright.”

“Answer me.”
“You—that line—”
“Do you remember clearly?”

“I do remember.”

“But—”

“Here… no—”

“Why…
You’re always—
You’ve never been alone before.”

There had never been an instance when we were truly alone together.

If you go home—
Your mother is working hard.

Backstage,
That chatterbox was always around.
If you met on the street—
There would surely be a male companion—
No way to have a proper conversation.

“Because you say it that way—”

“Let go of there…”

(In a tone of feigned innocence)

“You see, I…”

“To tell the truth,”

“Your feelings”

“I’ve understood all along, you know.”

Male Actor: (with a puzzled look)

“What the hell’s that…?”

“Oh, never mind…”

“Your turn to feign innocence.”

Male Actor: (resignedly)

“You must think I’m a man you should despise.”
“You must have thought so.”

“Hey, that’s enough…”

(Female Actress) (ignoring this)

“If I were a happy woman, you could afford to be more indifferent.”
If I were a happy woman—
“You could—”
“You could afford to be more indifferent.”

Male Actor: (with a bored look)

"I don’t particularly—"

"I don’t think you’re an unhappy person."

Female Actress Otsu (sits on the stage chair)

“You’re lying.”
“But you must understand.”
“As for me… still…”
“A man—”
“Never once have I loved.”

Male Actor: (enthusiastically)

“In that case…”

Female Actress Otsu: “Yes.”

“Of course, that includes even you.”

Male Actor Kō: “Ah….”

(Involuntarily shouting like this, he crosses both arms over his forehead.)

―CURTAIN―