Pathway to Japanese Literature

Time: Late autumn, 1920

Near the Austro-Italian border, the small Tyrolean Alpine village of Cortina.

Characters

Amano

Stella

Eliza

Dining room of Hotel Pension.
7:00 PM.

The stove fire burned.

Stella sat in mourning clothes, her eyes veiled.
She sipped coffee while turning pages of her book.

Eliza stood nearby, holding a coffee pot.

There was no one else.

Eliza: "Tomorrow you would depart, and the day after tomorrow, Mr. Amano..."

"And then..."

After that, this hotel too would be empty...

Silence.

Stella: "I know about the train times."

Eliza: "Uncle still hasn't come back."

"If you were to delay another day..."

Stella: "But I've already packed my things... (Pause)"

“And besides…”

“If snow starts falling, it’ll be such trouble…”

Eliza: “It’s all right—not yet...”

“While the saffron still blooms in the pastures...” (Pause)

“But... how suddenly cold it’s turned.”

Stella: “After all this time... I’d thought I’d finally found somewhere proper to settle...”

Eliza: “Those who can wander free like you—summer here, winter there—they’re the fortunate ones.”

Stella: “I too... if only I could... would stay rooted in one place...” (Pause)

“I’ve been traveling alone these two years now… Wherever I go, there’s always something that doesn’t sit right, so I keep wandering about like this.”

“Mr. Amano was saying much the same... He’s been away from his country for ages now, they say— Claims he doesn’t mind the cold and wants us to leave it running, but we can’t very well keep this hotel open just for one man alone…”

Stella (lowering her eyes to the book): “He’s... going to Florence, you say?”

Eliza: "Well..."

That too had not yet been clearly decided.

"If I were to mention that you were going to Sicily..."

Stella: (laughing while raising her eyes) "What was that?"

At this moment, Amano entered, holding a bouquet of saffron flowers.

“You took your time, didn’t you?”

Amano: "I'm sorry for being late."
(offering the bouquet toward Stella)
"Lovely, aren't they?"

Stella (receiving the bouquet and inhaling its fragrance): "For me?"
"Oh."
"How kind of you."

Amano (sitting at the dining table, to Eliza): "What's today's…?"

Eliza (carrying plates): “Sweetfish.”
“After that comes antelope and chestnuts…”

“Madam, have you already finished?”

Stella (without looking up from her book): “Yes, I went ahead…”

“Please take your time.”

Amano (begins eating): “Delicious.”

“Where did you go today?”

“The usual place...” Amano flashed a faintly sarcastic smile.

“The castle...?” Stella asked, striving to sound casual.

“You know it well.”

“There’s nothing particularly odd about that… (Pause)”
“You enjoy that sort of thing, don’t you?”
“What do you mean…?”
“Observing what people do without letting them notice…?”
“Being observed hardly concerns me.”
“Besides, that place is a park…”
“You yourself don’t engage in anything worth hiding.”

“Don’t concern yourself with right and wrong.”

“I like the color of the sunset reflected on that mountain…”

“Majestic, isn’t it—that view.”

“There’s something mystical about it, don’t you think?”

“The beauty found in prayer…”

“Truly, Tyrol’s nature—and its way of life as well—possesses a religious beauty…”

“You are a Christian, I suppose.”

“I’m… non-religious.”

“You’re not without faith, are you?”

Stella: "What's the difference... ultimately?"

Amano: "I still don't truly know where you're from."

Stella: "You'd know if you checked the guest register."

Amano: "A guest register is just a guest register."

"You aren't American..." (gazing intently at her)

Stella: "Is that so?"
(With these words, she drinks down the last sip of coffee.)

Amano: "I don't pay much heed to being Japanese myself."
"That's why I'm not particularly interested in where people are from either."

“I don’t believe our lives are so very different.”

“That’s right,” Stella said.
She rose from her seat and threw herself onto the sofa. “That’s right.”

Silence.

Amano: “Madam, we must finally bid farewell.”

Stella (as if she had prepared the words): “This might be our final farewell.”

Eliza: “Won’t you both come back here in spring?”

Once she had said so.

Stella (laughing): “I did say that to you.”

“I wonder how I was…”

In any case... a farewell for life—that’s how it felt.

It wasn’t an unpleasant feeling… If we both felt that way…

Stella (with a half-smile): “Really….”

“The traveler’s state of mind is such a peculiar thing,” Amano said.

“When it comes to friendship, they become dreadfully sensitive…”

“Yet when faced with passion, they become ridiculously timid.”

“Don’t you think so?”

“Well… Passion…”

“Yes…”

Today, I came to think that profoundly.

Stella (straining to listen): "Ms. Eliza... I don't hear... The window..."

Eliza (hurried to one window, slightly parted the curtains) "Where…"

Amano (amusedly): "This way."

Eliza (going to the other window): "No way…"

Stella (laughing): "I told you—it's this way, see…"

Eliza (going there and, this time, resolutely opening the window)

"Here, Lunaat…"

"What's wrong?"

"Huh? Uncle?"

“He went to town…”
“It’s still all right.”

“Oh…”

Then where…?
“Right now?”
“I’ll be there soon, so wait.”
(closes the window)

Stella: “Do bring them here once...”

Eliza (fidgeting, to Amano): “You can take your time.”

Amano: “Slowly…?”
How strange…

“Well then, put all the food out here...”

“You can help yourselves…”

Eliza (bringing the next plate and coffee): “Is this really all right...?”

Amano: “Shall I tell Uncle?”

Eliza: “If you do that, I’ll just run away…” (spins around)

Stella: “That’s right….”

“You should go tend to it quickly.”

“Your Lieutenant’s getting restless… making his sword clatter…”

Eliza (shrinking back): “It’s fine once in a while.”

Stella: “Oh? At this hour...”

Eliza (touching her hair while approaching the doorway): “Please tell Uncle I’ve already gone to bed when he returns.”

“Where are you…?”
“Disagreeable man!” Eliza retorted as she ran off.

“This summer, I heard from a certain German officer...” Amano began.
“During the war, when the company of those officers who’d been occupying the French countryside was finally withdrawing, they say the young girls of the village stood by the roadside weeping aloud.”
Stella’s veil trembled slightly. “What an unpleasant story.”
Amano stared at his cooling coffee. “Is that so... I wonder...”

“And besides...” Stella started to say something but suddenly fell silent.

“You seem to take human passion rather lightly,” Amano observed.

“Rather...you say?” Stella echoed.

“I suppose so.”

“You’re the one who doesn’t seem very Japanese.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“No...it’s nothing.”

“Won’t you tell me more about Japan?”

Amano (laughs without answering)

"You never speak of your homeland at all, do you?"

“You…?”
“Nagasaki… they say it’s a lovely place.”
“What do you mean to achieve by asking such things?”
“It’s nothing, really…”
“More importantly—where are you *truly* from?”

Stella: “What was it you said earlier?”

Amano: “The reason I want to know that is because you are deliberately concealing it.”

“I don’t wish for you to be Austrian rather than Italian.”

“I know.”
(Pause.)

“How would you know whether that’s truly the case?”

“Then guess.”

Amano: “I’ll guess—but first let me see your eyes…” (stands up and moves near the stove)

“Go ahead… as much as you like…”
“Remove the veil…”
“You mustn’t… That…”
“There, you see…”
“You enjoy such things too, don’t you?”
“It’s no use—even if you say such things…”
“Your eyes seen through the veil… are like a mouth that does not speak.”
“In your eyes, there must certainly be things I’ve never known until now.”

“You’re quite the curious one yourself….”

“Is it not permitted…?” (Pause.) “You do cry rather often, don’t you.”

Silence.

Stella...

Amano: “Your tears must be tears that journey between dreams.”

Stella (sighing): “My dream... Do you know what sort of dream that might be...”

Amano (turning around): “Your dream, you say...?”

That is a dream like fog enveloping all of reality.

"You undertake journeys... That too, for you, is but a dream...

Reading... That too is a dream...

Engaging in love... That too is but a dream..."

"Wait, please…"

"That we’re talking like this…"

“Lies…”

“First of all, I am alive.”

“You are living your dream.”
“In that case… let’s make it one dream.”
“Let us remember… sad, splendid…”
“A common one, that.”

“You look pleased...”

“Not in the slightest...” Amano’s voice turned grave. “That’s simply who I am.”

Silence.

Stella: “I thought you would say that.”

Amano: “I didn’t have to say it.”

“Then let’s talk about something else.”

“Other topics… That might be good too.”
(Pause.)

“That book you’re always reading… what is it?”

“This...?”
(Trying to show the book in her hand, she hurriedly hid it behind her back.)

“Does it matter what it is?”

“Please don’t ask me anything more, alright?”
“I shan’t accept a single question.”

“Then we can’t talk.”
(Pause.)

Until now, there had been no such opportunities.

When meals ended, you always withdrew from others to immerse yourself in reading and meditation.

Outside this dining room, I couldn't even approach you.
(Pause.)

"Isn't today our final evening?"

Stella: "Our final evening..."

"That too is merely a game of fantasy."

Amano: "That's right..."

"Is there no way to make this game of fantasy more interesting... just the two of us...?"

I must make one thing clear beforehand...

“Tomorrow morning, when your carriage crosses that mountain pass, I will become a man who vanishes forever from your dreams.”

“Are you seriously saying such things?”

“Isn’t that precisely what it is? The hearts of fellow travelers are bound by a friendship unconstrained by promises. Is it not that in hands clasped while wondering whether they might ever grasp again—in those very hands—there dwells the unrestrained vitality of journeying… (Pause) In these remote Tyrolean mountains, two people who haven’t even exchanged life stories… Having sworn an oath that we shall never meet again—if we were to spend a night like long-separated lovers…”

“How fascinating that would be.”
(Pause.)

Is this acceptable…

You are dreaming...

"There is another man who dreams...

Two people's dreams overlap and intertwine...

That's all... (Pause.)

In dreams they meet; in dreams they love.

What do you say...

Don't you ever wish to taste such love just once?"

“I’d rather dream alone.”

“You, for your part, should indulge in whatever dreams you prefer.”

I’ll dream whatever dreams I please.

Stella: “So, what will you do?”

Amano: “Suppose the man you love were me.”

Stella: "The woman you love... is me?"
Amano: "It’s not about you and me…"
"Your lover and you…"
"My lover and I…"
"The thing is - those pairs exist here now."

“And then…?” Stella laughed.

“From that point onward,” Amano replied, “I needn’t say it—you already understand.”

“Then it’s just dinner theater…”

Just playacting…

Amano: “It’s serious make-believe—a serious performance.”

“Now,”
“You love me...”

“But I...”
“That’s how we’ll leave it.”

Stella: Do you love me?

“Yes…”

“Rational imagination proves better than clumsy experience.”

“Now, like this,”

“Your lover is kneeling at your feet.” (He does not kneel.)

Stella laughs.

Amano: “You mustn’t laugh.”

Stella: “Let’s add firewood.”

Amano (feeding logs into the stove): “I am pressing my ear to your heart, determined not to miss even the faintest whisper.”

“The breath escaping your lips...” (He approaches Stella)

“I am trying to inhale a chestful.”

“You are aware of that.”
“That is a dream.”

“Now,”

“Let us look beyond that dream.”
(drawing close to Stella and sitting down)

Stella: (with a slightly trembling voice) “That’s strange.”

Amano: “Strange…”

It became strange precisely because one deemed it so.

“Adults must not watch children at play.”

(whispering into Stella’s ear) “I love you...”

I loved you from the bottom of my heart.

I was a man whose soul had been stolen by your beauty…

How trite…

"But, well, fine… Please listen…"

"I don’t want to disrupt your dream…
I too don’t want to disrupt my own dream…
The fleeting joy of love fulfilled does not last forever.
I want to lose you the moment I obtain you.
Do you understand what I’m saying…?"
"...I don't understand."
"The moment I believe myself loved by you…
The moment your lips touch mine,
That moment,
It becomes the most blissful dream of my life..."

“First, please grip my hand tightly...” (takes Stella’s hand)

Stella (shuddering): “This is just playacting…”

“It’s truly just playacting…”

Amano (trying to take both hands): “You mustn’t be afraid…”

Stella (brushing Amano’s hands away): “No, no, you mustn’t…
Someone like you mustn’t come into my dreams.
That’s what I…”

“Someone like you… To wake me from my dream…”

“I am but a man passing by. The man who polished your shoes by the roadside.”

"The man who yielded his seat to you on the train."

"The man whom you made pick up the handkerchief at the theater..."

Stella (quietly): "You don’t understand a woman’s heart at all, do you."

Amano (taking Stella's hand): "I cannot read the heart of an indifferent woman."

Stella (as if recollecting herself, gripping Amano's hand): "Alright..."

"Well then, let’s put on our play together."

"In return, don’t you dare forget our promise."

“Just tonight…”

"You know, it’s fine…

Just tonight…

(as if intoxicated) Come now, please say something more…"

“I’m lonely…”

Tonight, for some reason… I’m so lonely…

I’m so terribly lonely… that I fear the dream I’ve kept alive until now might end here…

Now,

“Quickly—say something… Please…”

Amano: “Before that… your eyes… just once…”

“Hey, take off your veil…” (he placed his hand on Stella’s shoulder and pulled her close)

Oh…

“Why are you crying?”

Silence.

Stella (removes the veil and wipes tears)

Amano: "What could possibly be so sad?"

Stella: "There’s nothing sad about it…"
"It's just a habit…"
(looking at Amano and smiling)

Amano: "Oh... this... this..."

Amano (embracing Stella): "These eyes..."
Stella: "Hold me tighter... Please..."

“I’m being held by him.”

(Growing increasingly impassioned) “You are my dearest, dearest person.”

“Now, tighter...”

What a quiet evening it is.

Just like that night…

—Long ago—

"You’re trembling… (pause)"

"I won’t have you deceiving me."

“You’re terrible…”

To think it ends tonight…

Amano (as if realizing): “You will always be mine.”

“This arm won’t let you go until it turns to bone.”

Stella: “No... Don’t say such ghastly things...”

“Instead... until your blond hair turns gray...”

“Say that until my black eyes fade to amber.”

Amano: My hair isn't blond.

“That doesn’t matter at all.”
“After all… it’s just a metaphor…”

“Don’t be angry.”

“You’re from Japan, aren’t you.”

“My mother was born in Nagasaki…”

“The name was Hama…”

Amano (surprised, looks at Stella’s face)

Stella: “Why are you so surprised?”

“Is it because my eyes are black...?”

“Well, that can’t be helped.”

“You… do you dislike black eyes…?”

Amano (formally): “Ms. Stella, please tell me the truth.”

“What you just said wasn’t mere commonplace talk, was it?”

Stella: “Don’t… Why make such a frightening face…”

Amano (stiffening): “Let’s stop the act.”

“I have a renewed request to make of you.”

“Please disclose your circumstances.”

Stella: “You’re such a strange one.”

“Don’t you understand my feelings?”
“Whether you understand or not—it’s all the same...”
“This was always just an act...”

Silence.

“Now, let’s not go saying such overly serious things,”
“Let’s continue the dream.”

“If my feelings change, then it ends.”

Amano: “Please don’t misunderstand—
I feel I’ve come to understand the real you now.
In your eyes—eyes I never truly knew before—I feel I’ve found my entire life.”

He couldn’t be satisfied with just one blissful moment.

Stella (throwing an arm around Amano’s neck): “Enough now—come closer over here.”

I wonder what time it was…

That... I looked down at the flow of the Iin River...

Villa... what was it again...
It's fine…

The night I first stayed at that Villa…

The day of the boat outing… until late…

That night…

You were so drunk…

Why did you get so drunk?

“Oh, was it me who made you drunk…” (Suddenly pulled Amano close and pressed her lips to his)

“Don’t just stay silent like that.”
(Pause.)

“My bedroom was next to yours…”

“When I opened my window, you opened yours as well, didn’t you?”

“And then, what was it...?”

Amano (resignedly): “Then I cleared my throat.”

Stella: “Oh yes, yes…”

“Then what…?”
“And I…?”

Amano: “You closed your window.”

Stella: “Lies—all lies…”

“Didn’t I sing a song…?” (hummed a fragment of a folk song)

Amano: “That song—I remember.”

“Right?”
“And then there was that balcony.”
“It was such a quiet evening…”

…The stars came out….

“You were acting so strange then—like a child…”

I remember……

Amano: “And then came the Tyrolean journey…”

Cortina’s autumn night…

“Instead of stars—look—the stove fire was burning…”

Stella: “You’re being too quick…”

“You’ve always been so impatient.”

Amano: “Enough about that journey’s midst…”

“Tomorrow, I too shall go to Sicily with you.”

Stella: “To Sicily...”

“There are snakes there.”

Amano: “Snakes... yes, there must be snakes there too.”

You were fond of walking barefoot on cold marble floors.

“I also like... letting the wind that blows through orange groves tousle my hair...”
“Yes, yes…”

"You’re quite skilled with the flute."

Amano (dark expression): "A flute..."

"He would also play it."

Silence.

“What's wrong?”

“I wonder if I said something…”

Amano: “No.”
(Pause.)

(Coldly) "Who are you talking to... you...?"

"Who is it, really—this person who's so good with the flute?"

(As if realizing) "How foolish of me to ask such things..."

"Then I won't ask about that anymore."
(Pause.)

“However… please give me some kind of response…”

Please answer this me.

“Aren’t you sleepy?”

Stella (with a semblance of laughter): “Still doubting me, are you.”

“Then enough—just take me anywhere.”

“And then... however you wish….”

“No—no—it isn’t like that.”
“I wanted... I needed... To rouse you from this waking dream.”

I want to make your undreaming heart speak somehow—to let it voice something.
So...

You'll turn away now, won't you.

(placing a hand on Stella’s shoulder) “There... What are your eyes seeing now?”
“Who are you looking at?”
“Ms. Stella…”
Can you hear my voice?

Stella (softly): “Please stay quiet for a moment...”

Silence.

“Why am I like this?”

Amano: “Well, isn’t it strange?”

“What are you searching for, you?”

“I’m not searching for anything at all.”
“Then you have no use for me, do you.”
“With you...?”

“Who are you…?”
(Pause.)

“No—you must stay silent.”

“...I’ll think alone.”

Amano: “You mustn’t contemplate matters.”

“You should just cast yourself forth as your passion dictates.”

“Can’t you see how this endless pursuit of distant phantoms torments you?”

“Not at all… I’m not suffering.”

Silence.

(In an almost anguished tone) That's right...
If only you would stay where my eyes don't reach you...
If only you would stay silent...

Rather,

"If only I had never known someone like you..." (her voice grew gradually fainter)

Amano: "Then what are you telling me to do?"

(Triumphantly) "Are you ordering me to die?"

Stella (resolutely): "Yes. Go ahead and die."

Amano (takes Stella's hand and springs up as if taking flight)

“Thank you…”

“I offer my life to you.”

“In exchange,”

“Your heart—I...”

Stella (interrupting, rising to her feet): “If you can take it—then take it away.”

Silence.

Amano: "Ms. Stella..."

Stella—what time was it by now?
(She went to the window, opened the curtain, and looked outside.)

The fog was still thick…

Amano: “The stove’s fire has gone out too.”

“Well then, perhaps we should start making our way back.”

Silence.

“Ms. Stella...” (stands up)

Stella: “Yeah…”

“I really am better off alone.”

“……If only I could just keep dreaming…”

Amano (with a wry smile): “That’s when you want someone to play with—when you wake up.”

Stella: “You shouldn’t go ruining such a precious dream either.”

“Well then, goodnight.”

Amano: “My dream seems about to vanish.”

Stella (laughing): “Then do come again to play our ‘dream game’.”

“You know the path.”

Amano: "Please don’t go too far away."

Stella (approaching Amano): "Well then, until tomorrow morning..." (offers the back of her hand)

“Do wake up to say goodbye… you must.”

Amano: “Well then…” (kisses Stella’s hand)

“That depends on the dream.”

Stella (laughing): “Yes, yes, indeed…” (carefully withdrawing her hand)

“Goodnight.”

Amano: “Good night.”

Stella (exits without looking back)

Amano (gazes fixedly after Stella)

Outside the room, a hoarse voice called “Eliza, Eliza.”

Silence.

――Curtain――