Pathway to Japanese Literature

“Hey, you went to the Third Tori Festival the other day, didn’t you?…” Blurting it out, I looked at Osawa’s face.

“Yes, I went... Why?……” With that, Osawa made her large eyes dart sharply. “And what’s more—in broad daylight, swaggering around with a man…” With that, I pressed further.

“Oh, you know about that so well, don’t you?” With that, those sharply darting eyes—honestly, just as they were—

“That’s strange.” With that, she shifted her gaze toward me once more. “Not strange at all.… You’re the strange one…” “Did you see me somewhere?” ……

"That’s probably right… maybe…" "I really can’t get away with anything—it’s true." "But where... where was I walking when I was seen?" "But more importantly—what the hell was that?" ……

“——You mean that?”

——That man. “Ah... that?” “He wore a mask bigger than his face. If he’s so self-conscious about being seen, then there’s no need to drag a woman through that crowded place in broad daylight, putting on airs as if everything’s fine.” “That’s right… I thought so too…”

"If that was how I felt… then why didn’t I make him stop? ...A bit shameful... But he’s not that kind of person. He’s not that kind of person?" "That’s right." "Even though he’s not that kind of person—you. …With such a man—doing that? …… Yes, that’s right… Because I was lonely alone—when I casually invited him on a whim, he came along right away…" With that, Osawa said breezily,

“I’ve mentioned before, haven’t I? That even after the war ended, I stayed evacuated in the Joshu countryside for ages?” “Even during that time, I never missed a single Third Tori Festival.”

"So you came all the way from the Joshu countryside to Tokyo every year just for that?" "Yes..." "Why such devotion to the Third Tori Festival then?" ...... "It's not devotion—I just like it." Like? "That's right... I like the festival, simply..." But 'like'... "Strange, isn't it? Yes—it *is* strange unless I explain..."

And with that, she gave a nod to herself. "—I…" "...Actually, even someone like me was born in Yoshiwara."

“—Yoshiwara?” “—You didn’t know, did you?” “—That’s the first I’ve heard of it.” “But I hardly ever tell anyone about that… being asked like this…” “—Why, then?” “Talking about that… it’s sad, you know…” Having said that, she quietly lowered her eyes—or so it seemed— “Hff, hff...” Then, suddenly, Osawa let out a laugh, sounding genuinely amused. “Hey—a mask bigger than his face... You really have a way with words, you know... It really was... that mask was bigger than his face...”

Two

——What nonsense. How trivial… I deliberately made a bitter face. “Who else but you would cut off their own story like that?”

“A mask bigger than his face.” “That’s how it is… that’s exactly how it is… But I couldn’t bring myself to say it so clearly…”

And Osawa wouldn’t rest until she had laughed properly once more.

“Just when we were finally getting into a heartfelt conversation—why did you suddenly bring up such a trivial thing?”

And so—that is to say—I pitied that face.

“What a strange woman you are…”

And Osawa—

"That's right—it's strange, isn't it? …I really do think so myself, sometimes…"

And immediately responding to that, “But just when you think a crow’s started crying, it’s already laughing again, you know… “……Can’t help wondering…” “If I say it myself, there’s no need for concern…” “Hey, but what can I do? …Even now—when I start talking about how sad it makes me—the moment I say that, somehow I really do feel sad, and just like that, tears almost well up… Then suddenly, I remembered what you said about the mask… And then—well—all at once this time, I started feeling amused, so amused… “……In other words… am I just built to be that carefree? …Is that what I am? …”

“Indeed, the very reason I’m called a flirt is ultimately…”

“No, that’s not it. …That’s not true—I’m no flirt…” “But when you mention Ms. Osawa of Akasaka—ah, that…” “A flirt… that’s what they’re saying, isn’t it? Even people from other regions I’ve never met…” “That’s the story, huh?” “Why aren’t people in this world just *full* of nonsense? …One person says something, and then they all parrot it without knowing a thing—one after another.” “……Just when and where did I do what, exactly?” “…”

—Well… fine… that… There’s no helping it.

Well then—I decided to leave that for more thorough study another time; for now, I would press on further with this current tale of being Yoshiwara-born. It was okay—once I had worked through it this much, I wouldn’t feel sad anymore…

“No good—you can’t just suddenly say something like that.” “…Being pressed like this—where in these tangled threads…” “Understood—I get it.” “Well then, I’ll take on the announcer’s role and ask questions from my side.” “You respond to that… Then that would be acceptable, right? …”

“Ask me properly…”

“If I perform well, your applause, please. …Do you know about that?” “Isn’t this Li Cai?” “Impressive! …I want to say that—but if you know about that old Chinese magic act’s stage, won’t it give away your age?” “Let them find out. …After all, next year I’ll be forty-six anyway. …The shadow of fifty’s hill has already begun to glimmer before my eyes…”

"What—has it already come to that?" …… "What—you should’ve at least said it’s still not that bad yet." "Let’s stop this already—the comedy routine." “……Too lacking in allure……”

“Why am I like this—so quick to blush—what am I?” “So—born in Yoshiwara?” I hurriedly covered Osawa’s mouth… instead of asking why she kept tearing at herself like this… “Yes—born in Yoshiwara de, raised in Yoshiwara de.”

And yet—abruptly—Osawa caught onto the wave of my invitation.

“Because my family ran a teahouse in Nakanocho District…” “Why did you later become a resident of Akasaka or Yoshicho?” “In the Great Kanto Earthquake, my house was burned down, I lost my parents and was left all alone, was deceived by wicked relatives, and was made into a geisha…” She had gotten as far as saying that when suddenly— How ridiculous… Let’s just stop this already—the whole interview charade… Osawa made a face as though she couldn’t even laugh.

“However, the house being burned down in the Great Kanto Earthquake is one thing…”

I said. "As for losing your parents—that was also…" "Because of the earthquake… They went into Hanazono Pond in the red-light district and died. It was terrible—just think of how many people died there… The whole family fled together, but we got separated along the way. By chance, I ran in another direction and survived…" "So—not just your father and mother—everyone else in the household too?" ……

“That’s not exactly the case… There was one person—Toshi-chan, an employed serving girl who was close to me… She also survived precisely because she didn’t enter Hanazono Pond.”

“How old were you then?” “Me?” “……I was fourteen. “……First year of girls’ school. ……With pigtails—they were so cute, you know.” “Did you go to girls’ school—a teahouse daughter?” …… “I did go. ……Why?” ……

"But doesn't it seem mismatched—a girls' school in Yoshiwara?" …… "You don't understand. ……The more respectable households in those parts are oddly strict about things like children's education." "……Especially my father—he was stricter than most upright citizens, to the point of disapproving even of my friendship with Toshi-chan." "……For one thing, he believed running a teahouse was only for his generation—not something to continue indefinitely." "In other words, a place like Yoshiwara was destined to vanish someday." "……So he had to thoroughly train his daughter and marry her into a proper household……"

“In other words, he was part of the intelligentsia—if you put it in today’s terms…” “That’s right.” “After all, he even became a ward council member in Asakusa once or twice.” “So not the daughter of a sushi shop owner, but of a ward council member?” “And what do you know—that very daughter ended up being a geisha for thirty years straight, from the spring of her fifteenth year right up to this very day in her forties.” “……Appalling.” If I’d known it would come to this, I should’ve died back then in Hanazono Pond with my parents. ……That would have been better……

“It’s not necessarily so, is it? ……There must have been times when you thought it was good to be alive, right?” “Well… in such a long thirty years, there were two or three times. ……But now that I look back, they were all dreams… Like moonlight on water……” “But if you put it that way—everyone’s like that. ……A human life… from the very start, it’s been set up that way……”

“But what’s frustrating is there are people in this world who aren’t that way… You mean that Toshi-chan I just mentioned?”

“Yeah.”

“This person truly found worth in living… Because she didn’t die back then… precisely because she survived, she could meet these happy days she has now…” “Are you still involved with that person?” “I evacuated to where this person was evacuating, relying on her.” “……Since we’re far apart, we rarely meet, but we’re always exchanging letters.”

“Where is she now?”

Kamakura.

“What is she doing?” “She got married and is managing well.” “…You don’t know Shiba Hakua—the painter?” …… “Shiba Hakua?” “…I know the name.”

…He used to be a Western-style painter in the same circle as Ryusei Kishida and others, but now paints only Japanese-style works… “She’s his wife now—Toshi-chan…”

III

……After saying, “We only meet occasionally,” then immediately making excuses like “though this sounds odd,” Osawa went on to explain how she had actually visited Toshi-chan in Kamakura four or five days earlier and ended up staying the night after being persuaded. ……She elaborately praised how wonderfully harmonious Toshi-chan and her husband were, and how quietly, peacefully settled their household atmosphere felt—citing example after example in minute detail. ……Among these, what particularly struck me was how one evening while dinner was being prepared, Toshi-chan, her husband Mr. Hakua, and I went out for a leisurely stroll to a spot where we could see the sea. ……Toshi-chan’s house was in Zaimokuza, and following the narrow sandy path from there brought us within a short block of the sea.

“Ah!” I exclaimed, stopping in my tracks without thinking—you know……” And with that, Osawa somewhat exaggeratedly arched her chest.

“Why?”

And of course, I laughed. "But—you—the color of those sea waves." "It’s not just blue… It’s navy." "……A startling, indescribable, astonishing navy……" "So by then, the sun had already set, I suppose." "But the sky was still bright. ……Precisely because of that, it might have stood out all the more……" "……The moment I did, I remembered."

“What?” “—That sea prop from the ‘battle scene’ in Kumagai’s play…” “No—I mean, someone trained in Nibancho would say that…” The Taishō period’s two young actors: Kikugorō and Kichiemon. ……The so-called Ichimura-za era, elevated by that very popularity, was also a golden age for Tokyo’s pleasure quarters—Shinbashi, Akasaka, Yoshichō, Yanagibashi, each in their own way. ……Osawa’s offhand remark about that “battle scene” sea unexpectedly made me recall the human warmth of the Tokyo of days gone by, when automobiles were still a rarity.

When the three of them returned home afterward, the living room was already lit with a blazingly bright light. Not only were there so many dishes of food arranged on the large low dining table that they nearly overflowed, but in the pot hanging over the fire kindled in the long charcoal brazier, oden—visually whetting one’s appetite—simmered with gentle bubbles.

And then—upon hearing that except for the sea bream sashimi delivered from the fishmonger, all the rest were prepared by the kitchen maid alone—Osawa was so astonished… “Well, it’s nothing special, but…” With that, Mr. Hakua himself drew a smooth pour from the copper pot and offered, “Here, have one…” “This oden is something our household takes a bit of pride in…”

said Mr. Hakua.

“It’s true… It really is.” Toshi-chan chimed in, adding the tail piece to it. “What would you like? ……I’ll get it for you……” “Well then, the beef tendon and tofu…” “How about the daikon? ……It’s simmered perfectly……” “I’ll have some bit by bit.” Indeed, it certainly lived up to its reputation. ……The moment she put a bite in her mouth, she understood.

“This is wonderful… This flavor isn’t ordinary at all…” Osawa said this neither as flattery nor frivolously. So much so, truly, Osawa was impressed by the vegetable stew—which she normally disliked and had never eaten. “Go ahead and help yourself to the other dishes as well…” With that, Mr. Hakua picked up the smooth pour and filled Osawa’s cup to the brim. “Oh, I really shouldn’t.” “……I really couldn’t accept that.”

“Oh, it’s fine… After all tonight… once this is done, we’ll just be sleeping anyway…”

“You mustn’t hold back, Ms. Osawa……” Toshi-chan chimed in.

“I won’t hold back at all.” Osawa retorted without backing down.

The intimate gathering of just the three of them thus continued until past nine o’clock. The more Mr. Hakua drank, the better his mood became.

The brightness of Toshi-chan’s face as she occasionally admonished him yet never tried to forcibly bring things to a close……

"This is it—this is what it is—it has to be this…" No sooner had she registered this thought than Osawa’s chest suddenly tightened. ……What—this is it, this is what it is, it has to be this—but even I didn’t quite understand…… The next morning, Osawa—who was usually a late riser—woke up before eight o'clock. However, by that time, Toshi-chan was already wearing an apron and bustling between the kitchen and other rooms. Mr. Hakua had gone out into the garden and was teasing the dog.

Perhaps because of the wind, there was now the sound of waves that hadn’t been audible yesterday. “Good morning.” Osawa somewhat awkwardly knelt on the veranda.

“Good morning…”

“It’s lovely weather… Today’s Third Tori Festival is a grand success…” Mr. Hakua said in a hearty voice, continuing his monologue…

IV “So that’s how you realized it—that the day was the Third Tori Festival…”

And I said, deliberately adopting a teasing tone. "Oh, that’s not it." Osawa’s face was serious. "I can’t stay—I have to hurry back. If I dawdled, I’d miss my chance again… That’s all I thought. Because everywhere—sunlight was pouring in everywhere, and it was all so tranquil…" "So?……"

“So.” “But still—what with one thing and another—it ended up being past noon.” “Where did you meet Mr. Mask after that?” “On the train…”

“You mean on the way back?” …… “Yes, that’s right—the Yokosuka Line…” “Of course, I suppose you’d known this customer beforehand?” ……

“Yes, I’ve known him for two or three years now.” “But he’s just some company executive—I don’t even really know his name… Other people keep calling him ‘Mr. Shii,’ ‘Mr. Shii,’ so I ended up joining in—‘Mr. Shii,’ ‘Mr. Shii’—that’s all…” “Such a foolish thing…” “It’s a mystery how it works… I sing utazawa, so occasionally I’m asked to accompany someone… My voice is good, you see.” “…It’s a cut above amateur work, you know…”

“Did he spot you first, or did you approach him?”

“Both.” “……Both at once.” “……When I let out an ‘Oh!’ without thinking, he went ‘Ah!’ too.” “……The train was so empty—completely deserted everywhere—so we noticed each other right away… When I asked later, he’d boarded from Zushi…” “So since it was empty—as a matter of courtesy—I went over and sat beside him.” “……‘What lovely weather we’re having,’ I started by saying…”

“Spot on…” “When a woman speaks first, no man stays silent... At minimum, he’d have replied with ‘You’re right’ or ‘Absolutely’... Especially if she’s someone who fancies utazawa singing—before you know it, their talk would loosen up: cigarette glow on a snowy dawn, tea to fend off the chill, then escalating to drinks…”

“What’s that?” “Doesn’t Akuya from ‘Koto Zeme’ say it?”

“You’re quite the know-it-all…” “Evading won’t work.” ……Because that’s undoubtedly how it was…… “That’s right, exactly… As we talked, I gradually came to feel affection for him.” “……Somehow it felt wrong to part ways right then, so I tried saying, ‘Why don’t we go to the Tori Festival?’……Then he said, ‘Sure, that’s fine’……” “Well, of course.” “……I can’t blame people for calling me a philanderer……”

“It’s not an affair or anything—just a passing fancy, really…” “Affairs are passing fancies of the day—that’s how their value’s been fixed since olden times…” “Oh, but that’s…” “But when you walk side by side like that, with the man wearing a mask—people can’t possibly think they’re mere acquaintances. Now if it were the woman wearing one instead… Mightn’t that seem less unsavory somehow?”

“Why?”

“There’s no reason why—it’s just a feeling. At least… maybe people wouldn’t take them for a proper married couple.” “Do you think so?”

“So, what happened after that?” “……Where did you go?” “We went to Kanda and had chicken.” “And then?”

“We went our separate ways—right and left—and then…” “You really think he agreed? The man?” “It wasn’t a matter of him agreeing or not. After all, I was the one who paid for Kanda.” “Even though he’s supposed to be an executive?” “He’s an executive or whatever, but wasn’t it me who invited him?” “Well now—but you made him pay without a word?” “Well, he’s just one of those modern executives with nothing but a title on his business card—things like that don’t faze him at all. On the contrary—he probably thought I led him on… No, really—to tell the truth—I initially thought he was a bit more substantial of a man when we were on the train.” “Then, when we got off, he immediately put on that mask, right?” “So when I got disappointed all at once—even if we went to Kanda, he was such a blockhead he didn’t even know what kind of place Kanda was… I clearly realized that as long as he just sang utazawa—and only what he’d practiced at that—it was good enough for him… I’ll say this in front of you—he didn’t understand a thing about the hardships I endured in Kanda or the taste of chicken… And then when I thought, ‘Last night’s oden was delicious…’—it just became unbearable.” “It seeped in—the sadness—how I have no place for my heart to dwell…”

Five

“Well then…” I said.

And when I—the third sake bottle having grown slightly lukewarm and listless— "Why don’t we get something to eat? …All this talking’s made me hungry…"

“Well then,” I said to Osawa. “What shall we order?” Osawa raised her eyes from where they had been cast down over the hibachi. “Anything’s fine.”

“Well then… something hot pot-style…” “That’s fine too… The night before last was oden, last night chicken… Then tonight as well, keeping with the pattern…”

“Let’s have chiri—chiri…” With that immediate decision made, Osawa stood up.

“It’s fine—you didn’t have to get up yourself…” “While I’m at it, I’ll just make a quick call…”

“Where to?” “To my place.” Osawa opened the sliding door and quietly left. ……In her retreating figure, one could sense the trailing hem of a geisha from twenty or thirty years past. Suddenly, a fierce wind swept through, shaking the garden trees. ——A dwelling place for the heart… I silently mouthed what Osawa had just said. ——What on earth… but that woman…

Thinking this, I—for no particular reason—set down the sake cup I’d been about to raise to my lips. “The moon outside is lovely…”

And before long, Osawa returned carrying a new sake bottle. “The weather’s holding up beautifully.” “Really… But once the Third Tori Festival passes and everything turns completely wintry, I’m happy.” “Do you like winter?” …… “I love it…” And Osawa poured from that freshly heated new sake bottle. “Hey.” I said while having her pour me more. “Next year—how about we go together?”

“Where to?” “To the Tori Festival Market.” “Yes, let’s go.” “Let’s kill time at Matsubaya and then go to the evening Tori in high spirits.” “——I don’t like that…” “——Why?” “I’m telling you, if I don’t go to the Third Tori Festival in the daytime, I just can’t stand it…” “What if you say that and there’s no Third Tori Festival next year?” ……

“Then I’ll just go to the Second Tori Festival.” “Either way, I can’t stand the First Tori Festival… it’s too crowded…” “What’s the reason it has to be daytime?” “When I walk through that daytime crowd, I get this nostalgic feeling like my deceased father and mother might suddenly appear from somewhere.” “I see. Then let’s make it daytime.”

“In exchange, I’ll wear a mask.”

――Who will?

“I will.”

“For what purpose?” “For your sake.” And Osawa smiled sweetly, showing her beautiful teeth, and laughed, “I’ll become your wife for just one day.” “Your wife?” …… “You just said it yourself—if the woman wears a mask, people won’t go around saying we’re a proper couple……”

“Ah… so that’s it……” “In exchange, you’ll be splendidly paying the bill for the return trip to Kanda……”

VI

……However, Osawa died before that year’s Tori Festival could arrive.……It’s a story from two or three years ago.

Lofty and poignant, the month of the Third Tori.

Even if there were those who claimed my verse cast shadows of yearning toward Osawa, I would never have denied it...

(“Chūō Kōron” January 1956)